The Gay Thread
 

Well, let's face it, loads of us are gay. Anyone else want to discuss how awesome that is? Or, well... We can discuss anything you like, really.

Gay things that I've done today:

• My husband

• Watched HBO's Looking on Amazon Instant Video, which has turned out to be kinda awesome. Finally a show about gay guys who I actually like and find maybe a little relatable. I wanted Queer as Folk to be that show so badly when I was a teenager, but it just... yeah. And The New Normal, as likeable and funny as it was, was a bit Stepford-Gay for me. Looking is like a breath of fresh air in comparison.

• Recalled some humorous moments from the Golden Girls marathon I held last night.

Hm... ok... thinking about it, I seem to have basically just watched an enormous amount of TV this weekend. But it's cloudy out! Not my fault, right? The situation is completely out of my hands. ;)

Well, I just got back from Gran Canaria on Friday, saw a load of drag shows, had sex with a lot of guys and drank enough cocktails to take down an elephant. Gayest holiday ever :laugh:

As for today though... I have a date later on with a guy who's been chasing me for ages. Hopefully it's gonna go well!

You've out-gayed me, Artemis! I'm thoroughly impressed and a little jealous. Hope you had fun.

Let us know how your date goes!

Odd though it may be, I'm not sure I've ever actually even been on a "proper date". I went from basically-just-goofing-off-with-friends-who-have-some-sex-with-me as a teenager and then met my now-husband when I was 20. And he lived halfway around the world from me so "dating" in the traditional sense just wasn't in the cards. I think I may have missed out! Although knowing me the entire dating process would've likely made me a nervous wreck, so maybe it was for the best. ;)

I've always been told I'm more like a lesbian than a gay man. :lol: I tend to jump between "marriages" vs dating/hooking up. I don't like the bar scene... I prefer outdoorsy stuff like hiking & swimming. I am not fashionable... give me home improvement projects instead. I've restored a few classic cars. Own a motorcycle. Currently drive a Subaru. :laugh:

Don't get me wrong, though. A Golden Girls marathon will completely hypnotize me. I love listening to vintage Madonna on road trips. And I guess that's about it. ;)

I get that a lot too, although I have the DIY skills of a 5 year old girl. My inclination to read/study and talk about things rather than go out partying gets me the "lesbian" label quite a bit.

I know it's wreckless stereotyping and we should all be ashamed of ourselves for being so simplistically minded, but... well... Stereotypes are fun, aren't they? Is it ok to admit that? I get a kick out of them. ;) We're all much more complicated than that, obviously, but I laugh at the jokes.

I think I come off as more masculine than I'd like, so I make up for it by having as many stereotypically gay interests as possible. Well, stereotypically gay interests for a 75-year old, anyway.

Do you think straight men worry about having too many "stereotypically straight" interests? Like, ever? I would say rarely, but the notion kind of tickles me.

Stereotypes always have a little bit of truth in them.

I prefer to celebrate them (the ones that aren't vile and disgusting) as an antidote to shame, that is still much more pervasive in our community than it should be.

I've never seen Looking. I recently re-watched QAF and was struck by how dated it seemed, and it's been off the air less than a decade. Nearly as dated as The Boys in the Band, although there are aspects of both that are still relevant.

I had a friend come and stay with me for a week this month, I hadn't seen him in at about 8 months, and he's definitely internalised a lot of stereotype-shame since the last time I saw him. He works out obsessively, hates his "gay voice", has become obsessed with "social standing" and getting ahead at work, and is just visibly uncomfortable with himself which has led him to become bitter. It's all very incongruous with the sweeter-than-sweet nice-to-everybody super-relaxed guy I used to know, although that guy's still in the mix. Just a bit sad to see. It's like he's going through a second adolescence in his late 20s, now that he has a disposable income and a place of his own and so can be a more "active" gay guy for the first time. I wonder how common that is among our folk.

See Looking, markolas. I found it wonderful.

And yes, QAF has certainly not aged well, but is still "important" in its way.

:wavey: AbsoLUTEly queer!!!

I'm also on the more masculine end of the spectrum as far as how I dress, talk, etc. but that's about it.

My interests/hobbies tend to "single me out" as the "gay one" with my group of friends in regards to things like my psycho obsession for Stevie, Dolly, Kate Bush, Roxy Music and the Scissor Sisters...not to mention being the only guy in my adult contemporary dance class, and having a DVD collection where 90% star strong fab female characters.

My other stereotype is that I'm in the gym every morning 5 days a week. I guess I'm vain in that way.

I don't really participate in the "gay scene" here in Nashville. It's kind of pathetic, to be honest. I don't do the bars or clubs. I guess my idea of a fun Friday or Saturday night would be hanging out at home with my puppy and a couple of close friends, sharing bottle of wine, listening to music and talking smack about people. :laugh:

Now that I think of it, this is probably why I haven't been on a date or gotten laid in almost a year. :distress:

Am I the only person who's like this? I close myself off (not consciously) to straight people in real life and only actively pursue friendships with other gay people. I think part of the reason is that where I grew up, I felt so isolated - I was the only gay person I knew. After I moved to Austin, I guess I decided that I'd never be in that position again. Perhaps I ended up overcompensating.

I've only started thinking about this lately, although I've been doing it for years and years. I don't think there's anything wrong with, I just think it's interesting.

I'm pretty much the opposite. Now that I'm in my 30s nearly all of my friends are straight. These days I relate to straight people better (unless they have kids), and the friendships are just easier. There's always either sexual tension or competition amongst gay men. When I was in my 20s I loved that part of the game. Nowadays I can't be bothered.

Here are the 21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century:

https://rateyourmusic.com/list/johnd..._21st_century/


21 Best Gay Films of the 21st Century
1. Raging Sun, Raging Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2009)
2. Broken Sky (Julian Hernandez, 2006)
3. The Witnesses (Andre Techine, 2008)
4. I Am Happiness on Earth (Julian Hernandez, 2014)
5. Son frere (Patrice Chereau, 2004)
6. Unforgivable (Andre Techine, 2012)
7. A Thousand Clouds of Peace (Julian Hernandez, 2004)
8. Yossi (Eytan Fox, 2013)
9. Three Dancing Slaves (Gael Morel, 2005)
10. My Life On Ice (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2003)
11. Infamous (Douglas McGrath, 2006)
12. Garcon stupide (Lionel Baier, 2005)
13. Time To Leave (Francois Ozon, 2006)
14. Changing Times (Andre Techine, 2005)
15. The Skinny (Patrik-Ian Polk, 2012)
16. Porn Theater (Jacques Nolot, 2003)
17. The Adventures of Felix (Olivier Ducastel & Jacques Martineau, 2001)
18. Bear Cub (Miguel Albaladejo, 2004)
19. I Love You Philip Morris (Glenn Ficcarra & John Requa, 2010)
20. Our Paradise (Gael Morel, 2013)
21. Of Time and the City (Terence Davies, 2009)

In my opinion, 90% of gay themed films are atrocious. There was an episode of "Will & Grace" where both Will and Jack are helping Karen's nerdy cousin come out of the closet. I do believe one of them says, "Let me tell you a little secret that we try to keep within the community. Gay movies suck but until the laws change we're still obligated to go see 'em."

I must be a bad gay man because I've only seen one film on this list. :/

I've only seen Infamous, so we're in the same boat. Gay movies are generally dreadful.

I've only seen "I Love You, Phillip Morris", which was actually pretty freakin' amazing and funny! :nod:

That's cuz y'all haven't seen the movies on my list.

Check 'em out! Much pleasure ahead!

The world of the heterosexual is a sick & boring life!
 

I have no interest in being the token gay in a group. With straight guys, it's just awkward. I have exactly one straight guy friend, and he is unusually feminist and gay-positive; also, he his main interests do not include sports and cars. And I'd get very annoyed very quickly with anything resembling a fag hag.

Yes, most gay-themed movies are terrible, but I watch then anyway (or at least try...there have more than a few that I've turned off in the first five minutes). Looking at a sea of straight people on the screen gets old after a while.

If this town had a gayborhood, I'd never leave it.

That's the only movie on the list I've even heard of. I'll investigate the others, though.

I once told my best friend: "I don't like gay people." His response: "You don't like anyone." alas.

Date was a complete disaster, it's amazing how someone can be so charming over messages and then have the personality of a cardboard cut-out in person. So disappointing. Thankfully he realized that there was "no spark" so... don't have to go there again.

I only have two gay friends, a couple about 12 years older than me, but things aren't always entirely platonic. The majority of my friends are straight lasses, but I have a couple of straight guy friends too. I just don't tend to get along with other gay guys in a social standing. We always end up just... not getting along.

I don't understand sisters not wanting to be around sisters. At all.

Well I was kind of humorously saying I don't want to be around anyone. But I seek out people with whom I have things in common, some shared sensibility or ideal or interest. Some of those people are gay and some are straight men and some are straight women. But I find in a crowd of gay people that I have almost nothing in common with them. I feel the same way in most crowds.

I used to actively pursue friends mainly with gay people. I used to find that with straight people, my gayness always ended up being "a thing", for better or for worse, and that was annoying as you've said, markolas. That seems to have changed a lot over the past few years, and I'm not sure if it's just that I'm older and the people I'm around are more experienced and used to things, or if people are simply different in the place I now live, but I really mainly have straight friends these days. Not by design or anything, that just seems to be how it's panned out.

Sorry about your date, Artemis. :( People are different in messages than in person, and it's something I wonder about regarding how it affects modern dating, which seems to begin with social media more often than not.

Even though I'm usually the "token gay", I have surrounded myself with a fine set of the BEST straight guy friends. Like your friend, Markolas, they are all extremely gay friendly, artsy, nerdy, talented, intelligent and attractive...and not interested in sports whatsoever. They're all music buffs like myself. I couldn't have asked for a better group of buds.

On the other side, I have about 3 extremely close gay friends, but interestingly enough, all three friendships started after I had slept with all of them. Funny how that happens. It's like being sexually intimate brought as closer together to realize we should just be friends and nothing more.

I've got both straight AND gay girlfriends out the wazzoo!!! I've always felt more comfortable hanging with the girls, as most gay men do, in my experience.

Sorry to hear. Have a laugh on me...here is a little blog entry about the six months I spent trying out "OKCupid" a couple of years ago and being sooooo very disappointed with each boy's "real appearance and personality" versus the personality they projected on their profile. I'm very wary of dating sites now, because of this.

Hope you guys like it. I tried to use humor to quell the horror!

http://learningtobeastranger.blogspo...aayyy-off.html

Horrifyingly cringey but quite entertaining. I lost it at the blue teeth. Thanks for sharing :)

Never really saw a 'gay movie' I liked. Just not my thing. That said - I'm not a huge fan of movies in general, and a story has to be incredibly unusual or interesting for me to want to sit still long enough to watch it. Besides, I think my own life is more interesting. :p I don't have time to sit around vicariously living someone else's life.

My husband was watching Looking for a bit. Not sure if he stopped, or if he's in between seasons - I don't know. He's a TV junkie. I'm not. I sat through one episode and found it totally sterotypical. Guy wants to bang sexy foreign boss with an accent, but is bothered that said boss is in a relationship, yet continues to throw hints and innuendos. Then they do it anyway. :shrug:

No offense intended to fans of Looking or of 'gay movies'. :xoxo:

I am 40, and have been with my husband since 2005. I think he's 'the one'. :laugh: I was never much of a dater, though I have always enjoyed going out and meeting people. I can be the loner or the life of the party, and often swing back and forth between the two, probably dependent upon the moon or Mercury. I'm more the love-at-first-sight guy. Yes, I believe in fate and destiny - with options and intersections - and of course, karma. To quote Madonna - "future lovers hide love inside their eyes". Totally.

I love bars and clubs, as long as they aren't douchey. When I was 18, in 1992, there was no social media - no dating sites - no hookup apps - very few cell phones. If you wanted to meet guys you went out and met them in person. :laugh: I sound like an old man, but that's ok. There was no being tricked by creative profile pictures. What you saw standing in front of you was pretty much what you got, minus the morning breath and bed-head.

I used to be vain beyond compare. Then...my hairline started creeping back, and the whole hipster thing came along, and I said 'fu*k it'. I don't know what it's like where all of you live, but in Denver, the gays and the hipsters are indistinguishabel from each other, and while skinny jeans, a beard, and orange sneakers with a green plaid shirt might look great on *that* guy, it's just not my thing.

These days, I've got too much to do and there is very little time for getting all pimped out and being a barfly. Home-ownership, gardening (my favorite hobby), hiking, camping, three cats and one dog, a husband who, even at age 35, couldn't find his way out of a paper bag, and of course - work. There's barely time to read a book, anymore. Sometimes I detest my own maturity and attention to responsibility, but I never miss the naivety (idiocy) of youth. On the few occasions I do watch TV, I'm a bit obsessed with ID (Investigation Discovery) and frankly, I'm lucky to be alive in retrospect. I look back at the fun, but totally stupid and irresponsible things I did as a younger man - I was totally naive and far too trusting - and I feel lucky to have emerged unscathed...except for being HIV+, which ironically, I didn't get from promiscuity but from someone I loved, who I thought I could trust. Then again, I could be dismembered and buried in a field somewhere..so...um...yeah. Be careful, guys.

I've always had a varied assortment of friends. Gay, straight, men, women, old, young - I have friends in their 60's and friends that aren't even old enough to drink yet. I like being the wise one, but I also like having wisdom handed down to me. The last thing I want is a circle of people just like me as friends. Boring.!

I'm definitely the Dorothy of my social circles, though. :laugh:

:laugh: You and me BOTH, my friend!

Urgh, that sucks!!
The worst date I ever had was with a guy I had been chatting to for quite a while. Months, even. He was very charming and very dashing. He lived a few towns away, but not far. One day, he text to say he was in my town and could he call in and say hi, just to break the ice. "Why not", I thought. So he turned up and I got t'kettle on (being in t'north and all). He WAS charming and dashing. But he had the worst BO I have ever smelt on another person. It was AWFUL. It was so bad, I had to put the cushion covers from the sofa in the washing machine where he'd been sat just to shift the smell.

Thankfully, that was 5 years ago now and happy to report I finally found my prince charming. We've been together for a year and we moved in together in May - 2 homo's and a cat called Gypsy. Puurrrfect.

The only gay movie I've ever seen was "Beautiful Thing". Oh, and "Prick Up Your Ears", but that's not really a "gay movie". I do love the original british "Queer As Folk" series though. That was really the first time that the UK gay scene had been shown for exactly what it was at the time - filthy, dirty, sorded, cheap...but fabulous. It was so amazingly accurate and real.

And that's precisely why I loathe the gay scene, I don't know if it's just my little town (Middlesbrough) but like, everyone knows everyone else, everyone has slept with everyone else. It's repulsive.

Oooooooh you're from t'Boro. Not too far from me, I live about half an hour north of Leeds, not far from Skipton.

I've found that the bigger the scene, the worse it is. The gay scene in Bradford, for example, is a hoot. So fun and relaxed. Oh sure, there is an element of filth behind it, but it's not that noticeable. The gay scene in Leeds, however, is absolutely awful and you couldn't pay me to hit the Leeds scene.

Oh cool. I actually have to drive to Leeds Trinity Uni in a couple of hours (PGCE Open Evening thingie. Gonna scout for hotties)

One thing that annoys me about gays is their commitment issues. I was dating this one guy, who lived in Catterick (so about 50 minutes drive away) and he was all "I don't want us getting too close to each other, distance etc" so I was all "Fairdoos" but then, when I'd posted something about having sex on the beach while in Gran Canaria (NOT recommended, I think I ruined a perfectly good pair of shorts) he hit the ROOF. It's like, you can't have your cake and eat it to. You either want me, or you don't. Make up your mind! Can't stand the whole "I don't want you, but don't want anyone else to have you"

Unless this is just me.

(LOVE this thread btw. Totally needed this rant! :laugh:)

Good luck! There are some hotties around Leeds, but equal amounts of nutters! Grindr, I presume?

Urgh, I know how that feels! Equally, I'm guilty of it myself though.

One thing I can't be doing with us overbearing boyfriends. My amazing man tends to leave me to my own devices. Sure, we do things together and go places together, but day to day, we're hardly even in the same room. We wake up together, we have dinner together and we go to bed together and everything inbetween is our own time really.

My ex was very overbearing. The whole relationship was about me. He wouldn't leave me alone and kept touching me. Everywhere we went. Like he was claiming me or something. Had to put a stop to that. Funilly enough, we're still friends and he's gone the complete oposite way with his current partner, who he largely ignores.

Myself and my other half seem to have found the balance between time together and time apart. And thank god, 'cause I need time to myself. Especially when the headphones are on. If I've got a new album to listen to, he knows to shush ;)

The British QAF is the best tv show since Golden Girls. That and Oz.

That's the gayest thing that's been said so far :lol:

Question to my fellow queer boys ~ Who are your celebrity man crushes? Actors, musicians, authors, reporters, reality stars, etc. Just curious. :D

James Franco. :]

OK, and Chris Martin. Totally wanna marry that guy.

GREAT question. My celebrity crushes change pretty frequently, so this is just as of today:

Movies: The cast of I Am Happiness on Earth (Hugo Catalan, Emilio von Sternenfels, Alan Ramírez, Gerardo Del Razo)
TV: Gregg Sulkin (PLL, Delirium)
Music: Alex Gardner (aka A-L-X)
Pundit: Marc Lamont Hill
Reality stars: Zach Nichols (The Challenge)

The British QAF is one that I completely appreciate as great and culturally important etc, but have no desire to really watch much myself. It's like the Joni Mitchell of television shows.

Celebrity crushes? These days I have kind of a massive thing for Simon Amstell, but I appreciate that most might think that's a bit odd.

http://i851.photobucket.com/albums/a...-eng/N04-2.jpg

And, depending how loosely we're using the term celebrity, John Polly (right)

http://www.newnownext.com/wp-content...John-Polly.jpg