#1
|
||||
|
||||
Advice, Please?
OK, this is a little personal (for me at least) but I want to ask people who are not close to the situation for an opinion.
At one time, about 4 years ago, my best friend of 20 years was engaged to a wonderful guy. She cheated on him, so he left. (I don't blame him) Since, she has been involved with a few others and is now engaged again. She has told me that cheating on him was the worst mistake she's made in her life, and it hurts to talk about him. OK. A few weeks ago, he called me just to BS, see how I was doing, and wanted me to go out and have a few to catch up. So, we did, this past weekend. We went to the boat, lost money, and had a blast. We're both interested in eachother, but I feel unbelieveably guilty. What do I do? What would you do??? The last thing I want to do is scar or even ruin a friendship of over 20 years because of this.
__________________
"How much does the world weigh? Ask a single mother..." |
. |
#2
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
|
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
|
#4
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
__________________
|
#5
|
||||
|
||||
Potentially sticky situation, for sure. I would venture to say that your friendship would never be the same should you date him, even though her actions led to their broken engagement. From my own experiences, women get angry when you just so much as look at a guy they've been/are interested in. If you talked to her about it, I'd guess she'd say she's "fine with it," but it would probably bug her.
|
#6
|
||||
|
||||
I think you should go out with him more, but don't tell her anything until you guys are serious. Yeah, you heard me, I said go out with him and don't tell her unless it gets serious!
__________________
"Do not be afraid! I am Esteban de la Sexface!" "In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice" Whehyll I can do EHYT!! Wehyll I can make it WAHN moh thihme! (wheyllit'sA reayllongwaytogooo! To say goodbhiiy!) - |
#7
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
__________________
~Suzy |
#8
|
||||
|
||||
IMO, eventually you're going to have to choose between a 20 year friendship (is this your BEST friend?) and a relationship with this guy. If she is still hurting over the breakup, she will never forgive you. Even if it was her fault.
So, you will have to decide which will hurt you more: losing her friendship or losing this guy. I think it would be different if she were safely married (when is her wedding?) Also, what does HE have to say about what happened? Is he still hurting over her? A lot depends too, on how much of an attraction there is between you and this guy. If its undeniable, I say go for it! but then, Im the one that cant count how many people Ive kissed |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
I don't feel like I'm in a position to say whether or not you're going to have to choose between the two of them eventually. It might bug your friend and it might enrage her--all of that depends on her personality. She might be a tad irritated and then recover quickly. I would wait and see if things actually get serious with the guy and then bring it up to her. From there, you can decide what you need to do for yourself. My two cents |
#10
|
||||
|
||||
My bit of advice would be to put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel about her if she dated one of your old flames? If you think you could manage, then go for it. But if you think you'd have a problem with the relationship, then I'd seriously have a heart to heart with yourself over this one. Without knowing you or knowing her, or the nature of your relationship, it's really hard for people who really don't know you to give you good advice.
Personally, I've always had a hands-off policy regarding a friend's old flame if that friend is someone whom I'm very close. But that's me. I don't think you'd be wrong to go for it, but be prepared to lose a longtime friend. And really, my own experience is that longtime friendships tend to end once one of the friends gets married. I've stopped being close to at least three of my close friends after they got married. They're in a different place than I, so it's just natural that we'd drift apart. So, if she gets married, there's no guarantee that you and she would be close in the future anyway.
__________________
On and on it will always be, the rhythm, rhyme, and harmony. THE Stephen Hopkins |
#11
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
|
#12
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
__________________
"How much does the world weigh? Ask a single mother..." |
#13
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
|
#14
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Life is short. |
#15
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Thanks for the responses. It's definately food for thought.
__________________
"How much does the world weigh? Ask a single mother..." |
|
|
Stevie Nicks 2024 Live In Concert T-Shirt, Vintage Stevie Nicks Tee Gift Unisex
$20.99
Stevie Nicks Poster White Winged Dove Bob Masse Classic Hand-Signed Silver Ink
$39.99
Stevie Nicks Shirt Fleetwood Mac Shirt Retro Stevie Nicks T-shirt All Sizes
$20.95
STEVIE NICKS FLEETWOOD MAC SIGNED PHOTO COA *MINT*
$100.00
$175.00