Dear workers on the house next door: I am planning your murder

[amber]

What can drive Amber into a murderous rage? Hearing the loudest noise in the world 20 feet from her bed at 7:30 on Saturday morning. Yeah,

7:30!

it was worse because I had been up till 5, and didn't have to wake up until 8:30, if you see what I mean. And me having to get up at all is an anomoly. So, I rushed out to the roof in my jammies (my porch is adjacent to the studio-below-me's roof, which ends next to the house being worked on, which is about 20 feet away, I just have to hop over my porch rail) and yelled "don't you think it's a bit early for this noise?! It's seven f*cking thirty on Saturday morning!!" and I waved my hands to indicate the many people living nearby who also might be irritated. Then I noticed that he probably didn't speak english, but I think he got the gist, as the loudest noise in the world turned into the most annoying medium volume tapping in the world.
I was still pissed, he's lucky I had to get up and leave. On a usual saturday, that tapping wouldn't have cut it.
I'm going to by a hose today, with a good sprayer, and if I hear that **** tomorrow morning, or any weekend morning, I'm going to spray him.
You know what he was doing? He was chipping the outside of the house off! With some kind of sharp hammer thing!

Then, on my way walking back from BART after dropping my paper, I'm toodling along the sidewalk listening to my rendition of WH on my ishuffle, wearing my Stevie shirt, happy as a clam. I had just performed amazing feats of jumpage and sprintage to make my BART, both ways! On the way there, I had to sprint and swerve by some girls on my left, then quickly avoid an old lady on the right of the escalator, then jump the final four escastairs, then leap ballet style (think If Anyone Falls video) into BART. Then, on the way back, I sprinted down the length of the station, avoided people by jumping onto a bench (so.awesome.) and continued sprinting while missing this one lady by an inch, to leap into the BART car!
So I was stoked, that is a fun morning for me, almost as good as rock hopping. I mean, it should've been in a movie. Tell truth, it didn't have to be that spectacular, but I like to go the extra mile and add the amazing jumps and swerves for my viewers. Hey, if you've got it...

Anyway, this car starts to pull out of a driveway onto the sidewalk. There was a bush right there, so it's a bit blind for the driver. I stop to wait for him to pull out and go, there are no cars coming. He stops his car and opens his door. I push the button on my ishuffle to pause it just in time to hear him say testily "take off your ipod. Okay, I'll pull forward, so you can walk around." WTF?! So I'm like "you can just pull out, it will be just as fast, I don't mind waiting."
So.Lame. As he was pulling out, of course I semi yelled "and don't tell me take of my ipod, a**hole!"

Okay, that was fun. I don't have a boyfriend, so there's no one to listen to my bitching, is why I wrote it here....

Edit - workers on house still loud, but now they've added hispanic music. Hurray! Thank god I have this beer. I think I'll blast Wild Heart at them. After all, they are 10 feet from my window.

Edit - my bedroom heater hasn't worked for months and months, and suddenly it came on. Only I just moved my bedroom to my frontroom and vice versa, so it's really now my "office" heater. Weird.

[amber]

Originally Posted by trackaghost

That sucks. 7.30 in the morning would be bad on a normal day but on a Saturday??!!! Have they stopped yet?
I'm glad the rest of your morning was cool though

No, they're still there. The noises aren't as obnoxious. Which makes me wonder: Why did they have to do the loudest thing earliest in the morning?
Yay, someone read my story!

Whoa, look at your weird/cool sig! What's the deal?

[amber]

Originally Posted by trackaghost

Noise first thing in the morning is the worst though. I'm not a morning person at all though so everything irritates me then, especially anything loud.
I hope they stop soon! It does sound like they don't care.

My sig is from a BBC comedy programme called The Mighty Boosh. (I didn't make them, I stole them sshhhh )
It's weird, it's surreal and we can't stop talking about it at work, so it must be good. Here's the official website for it:

http://www.themightyboosh.com/

It is really weird, but funny, thanks for the link. Oh, they've totally stopped. Which makes me even more pissed, as there is five hours left of daylight, and couldn't they just have started four hours later?
Okay, I'm going to look at the site. I wish we got British shows. I mean in real time, not as pbs reruns.
Edit - I couldn't see anything, just a white screen with black border. And naturally, i don't know what to adjust in my computer to have it shown. (cookies? java? remove pop up blocker? WHAT?)

[bikerchic]

I feel your pain Amber. My neighbour has a peacock (the bird I mean) and that thing goes off every morning from about 4:00 a.m. til 7:00 a.m. This time of year up here in Canada (spring), we're coming out of our long winter hibernation and we like to have our windows open for the first time in about 6 months (I really enjoy this time of year sleeping with the fresh spring air coming in, because in about a month its going to be so f**king hot that the air conditioning will be on and bye, bye open windows! so you can see why this pisses me off so much. I don't know if you know what a peacock sounds like but it sounds like some bitch having the big O. My husband and I having this standing joke that it's our neighbour on the "other" side of us, 80 year old Mrs. Arnott and we'll say, jesus christ give it a rest Mrs. A

[DavidMn]

I hate loud noises too when I'm trying to sleep.

[BTFLCHLD]

Amber, did you mention if this was an ongoing project? A neighbor of mine has been remodeling his home for the past week. When I come home the neighborhood is a buzz unitl approx 830 with his saw and hammer. One of the neighbors (in closer proximity to mr.noisemaker) call me to bitch about the day's noise level. What do they want me to do?! Any ideas? Have you turned the hose yet? And, what will you do with the body? As far as I know, if someone has a permit they can make as much noise as they want between certain hours. When I come home, I just crank my music to all hours!

[amber]

They didn't work any more.

[BTFLCHLD]

Originally Posted by amber

They didn't work any more.

Nice cover! Especially considering the title of this thread. Gotcha! "They didn't work any more."

[cliffdweller]

Originally Posted by amber

I'm going to by a hose today, with a good sprayer, and if I hear that **** tomorrow morning, or any weekend morning, I'm going to spray him.

But isn't he just doing his job? I mean, I'm sure it's not his fault that he has to work at 7:30 on a Saturday morning, I'm sure he'd rather not! Anyway, this same thing happened to me one time, I was f*cking pissed because some construction workers were hammering (yes, HAMMERING LOUDLY) on a house across the street at like 7:00 on a Saturday morning. I was tired and not very happy about it, but what can you do? I just put a pillow over my head and prayed a little pray that it would stop .

[amber]

Originally Posted by cliffdweller

But isn't he just doing his job? I mean, I'm sure it's not his fault that he has to work at 7:30 on a Saturday morning, I'm sure he'd rather not! Anyway, this same thing happened to me one time, I was f*cking pissed because some construction workers were hammering (yes, HAMMERING LOUDLY) on a house across the street at like 7:00 on a Saturday morning. I was tired and not very happy about it, but what can you do? I just put a pillow over my head and prayed a little pray that it would stop .

Well, then, his job needs to be scheduled either later on Saturday, or on a weekday like normal construction. Most places have weekend noise ordinances or something. Also, he could save the loud work for the afternoon.

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

Cool story

I got woken up only this very day at 8am by my next-door neighbour mowing his damn lawn. At 8am. Who the hell does that? Mind you, it rained pretty soon after, so maybe he had a hotline to the Man Upstairs. Anyway, he pissed me off.

And my little van is in the midst of an engine failure, so I can't work and I can't afford to fix it

Oh, no! that is terrible! You have to get a loan from someone. I mean, if you need to work to fix the van, and you need the van to go to work...
People like my really anal grandma mow at 8 am. Does the man upstairs get arthritis before it rains or something???

[bretonbanquet]

Originally Posted by amber

Oh, no! that is terrible! You have to get a loan from someone. I mean, if you need to work to fix the van, and you need the van to go to work...

Yeah exactly - right now my van IS my work - I'm an independent delivery van guy. My degree really counts for a lot these days I'm taking the van to a garage tomorrow to see what the cost is going to be - then I'll decide whether the money I have to scrounge from someone will be spent on a new van or on fixing the old one

Originally Posted by skcin

Nah, they're just so busy all day long trying "keep up with the Joneses" that they run out of time at the end of the day. Like, they'll be working all day, then take the kid to baseball practice, then run errands, then it's 9pm & they decide they must mow the lawn & weed-whack cuz the people across the street did, then it's 11pm & the kids are still up & nobody's eaten dinner so they go to McDonald's.

This happens litereally almost every day, and I am not exaggerating one bit. Well, they don't mow their lawn every day, but you get the gist of it.

That is hilarious. Completely tragic, and terribly irritating for the neighbours, but still perversely hilarious