~ Maid of Honor ~ advice thread

xxxmx · #1 04-24-2005, 04:05 PM

so here's the deal... trash-zilla, hereafter referred to as my cousin, is getting married in september and asked me to be her MOH. great. she has no friends and i'm the only relative. alright, i accepted because i knew that my dear grandmother's heart would break if i didn't. so now i'm in and i have no idea what i'm doing. maybe it would be different if we were closer, or if we were friendlier, or if we ever actually spoke...

so here's what i'm asking... what are the traditional MOH duties outside of the bridal shower and the toast? can i lobby for the dress that i want as long as it compliments hers and her colors? do i get her a gift?

also, she's 5'1" and i'm almost 5'6" - should i not get 5" heels?

all comments are welcome, especially trashy bride jokes...

amber · #2 04-24-2005, 04:48 PM

ok. I think you do get her a wedding gift, and a shower gift. I think you're supposed to also help her with her plans and stuff, if she wants you to. (sounds like she doesn't). But wait, if she doesn't have friends, who will come to the shower?

catinthedark · #3 04-24-2005, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

ok. I think you do get her a wedding gift, and a shower gift. I think you're supposed to also help her with her plans and stuff, if she wants you to. (sounds like she doesn't). But wait, if she doesn't have friends, who will come to the shower?

Yep - agreed. Both gifts. But bonus: she should get you a nice gift, too, for being MOH.

You are supposed to arrange the shower (sorry). Ask her who she wants invited - easiest, and no one gets left out. Aside from that, I don't think you have any real duties. Oh, I guess, arrange the stag if she wants one. I've never had to do the toast as MOH; you could try to pass that off. You may need to stand up and say something, though, during speeches. Is there going to be an emcee?

Oh, and the heels? Absolutely!!

jannieC · #4 04-24-2005, 05:18 PM

I just did my last duty as a MOH last year (I mean come on, at 36 I should think those days were OVER). Anyway, you have to help host the shower, yes you have to get her a gift, you have to pay for your dress and shoes. Yes, I think you should have a little say in the dress, if she's a nice person. Seriously though, you two don't even speak and she asked you to be her maid of honor? Gah. Wear whatever shoes you want- you're doing this girl a big favor, if you ask me.

Stephanie · #5 04-24-2005, 05:23 PM

I am pulling full time MOH duty now for my sister marrying May 14. I have run errands, thrown a massive shower, and will be helping set up the venue. I am ready to be DONE.

Anyhow, you can enlist others to help you with the shower. I got help from the other BM and an aunt. Just delegate the tasks that you feel comfortable with. You can print your own shower invites and have as little or much food as you like.

I actually chose the dress. As luck would have it, mootsies tootsies makes nice satin shoes in many colors for around $20. So that was easy. She should let you have a dress you feel comfortable in.

let me know if you need anything more specific as I am doing this right now.

xxxmx · #6 04-24-2005, 08:04 PM

we don't necessarily hate each other, we just haven't really spoken since i graduated six years ago. we were great friends up until we were ten, then we had a 'friendship revival' in high school before she met the fiancee. she gave up her friends and that was that. there was no falling out, there was just a drift. her mother is extremely competitive and is really happy that chris is marrying first. she was sooo happy when i ended my last relationship and went as far as telling my gram that 'now christina gets to be the first bride' - ewww. we don't support the competition and really could not care less about half the things my aunt makes a big deal out of.

what kind of gift should i get her for the wedding? obviously the shower gift comes off the list, but what kind of special little whatnot for the rehearsal dinner?

seeker007nmss · #7 04-24-2005, 08:52 PM

Make her have a "MAC" themed wedding!

skcin · #8 04-24-2005, 08:53 PM

I got my best friend a plaque with the Love verse (Love is patient, love is kind, yada yada yada...) printed on it with their names & the wedding date. She must have likes it, it's been hanging on her living room wall for over 5 years.

Things Remembered stores, the Abbey Press catalogue, tons of places online I'm sure. Picture frames, blankets, artwork, clocks, etc. personalized with names & date are a pretty safe bet. People love that ****

. A special gift, yet not terribley expensive.

You can also offer to buy the toasting glasses, cake knife or other useless crap used at the reception never to be seen or heard from again. Sounds like your aunt has all that covered, though.

Good luck, sister. After all the weddings I had to stand up in, I did my friends a favor & ran off to get hitched in secret.

catinthedark · #9 04-24-2005, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxxmx

what kind of gift should i get her for the wedding? obviously the shower gift comes off the list, but what kind of special little whatnot for the rehearsal dinner?

Another good wedding gift: sterling silver wine goblets with the date of their wedding engraved on it.

Rehearsal dinner... I've never given or received a gift as MOH or BM.

Also, I've bought my dress (I got to pick it, as long as it was the right colour), paid for it to be made (bride let us choose the pattern (we had to all agree on it) and she paid for the fabric), and had my dress bought for me. I gotta say, having it bought for me was a really nice and generous thing. I can only hope that when I get married, I'm in the position to do the same. But it's also really nice if you're paying to have some say in it.

jannieC · #10 04-25-2005, 01:52 PM

I took a bunch of pictures leading up to the wedding and the day itself. Then, I bought a big picture frame and made a collage of all the pictures. It was really inexpensive and she loved it.