Random Thoughts/Express Yourself...Part II

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

As long as we're on this subject, I have a few things to say. I know it won't matter one way or the other what I say because I'm not one of the group. I don't have anything insightful, witty or super-intelligent to say but I do post a lot (Amber, you told me this is what makes people pay attention and respond). I posted that my dad is dying and it's conflicting for me because he split when I was a kid and made it clear he never wanted a kid. A few people said something. In this thread, only one even noticed that I hadn't posted for a few days and cared where I was. Mari, thank you! The other topic was complaints about being single. The responses to that topic (which is essentially much more important than my father losing his life) got pages and pages of responses, sympathy and backslapping. Not that not having a date Friday night isn't serious business. It is. But, don't say this board isn't a popularity contest because it is. I'm meaningless and therefore my father's desertion and death is, too. I don't have a hard time calling it for what it is. I didn't post what I did because I wanted attention. This is real to me. I traveled for 16 hours total (in layovers and change of planes) to get from LA to Brasil so I could see my dad one last time. I'm dealing with years of conflict over being abandoned and trying desperately to love my dad now while I can. It's real to me. I would have never said anything about the pages and pages of crying over being single and dateless among the *popular* group, while my dad's death was almost completely ignored, but as long as we're on the subject of cliques.. If this wasn't proof, I don't know what is. I'll get over it. It's a message board and my dad will pass whether or not I have your sympathies or concern, right? I'm just calling it as I see it. You can ignore me or dislike me even more now and use this as justification. I started this thread (the original one, part 1) for people to open up about their happiness, their pain, their whatever and I'm glad everyone's having a good time with it. But, the relevance of someone's life does depend on popularity here and I admit that I was pretty shocked that my dad's death was worth one post, while being dateless was worth pages. I don't have anything witty, insightful or super-intelligent to say about that.

I come to the board to read Stevie happenings, pictures, stories about a band---The gossip, chatter and reflections on an earlier time in my life -that I associate a lot of what I have actually become- the person that I am, with this band of people that I have listend to and followed for 30+ years...

When here, I am saddened to find such sadness, name calling, dispair and sometimes outright desperation, I find people who are hurting and need some support and a place to feel safe posting their inner turmoils and heartaches..after all, No one REALLY knows you and they can't judge you and it allows some healing to be able to write something down and then send it away...

When here, I am amazed at the silly chatter, games that are played and the "family" that so many members have become-Curtis, Amber and Lux and Dissention ans Pattie and Claudia and Shel , and Hillary and Chris and...and so many people...that I really know, about them---- only what they want me, or anyone else posting/reading -to know.
Some days they are happy and somedays they are not. But they always have something to say ,maybe just to each other or to the whole board--

We have (in what I have observed,) a very large population of people in many countries, in many age groups, different social classes, different interests, and mostly....with many thoughts that they want to share and with so very man ,many, different priorities!!

That said- Please know there are people that are concerened and worried about you and your relationship with your Dad-but it is a heavy subject, not many people know how to deal and accept the healty realatives in their lives...forget about when it becomes serious and very real, there is nothing more akward than death.
Please don't think that I am belittling your trauma, because I am not- I just want to help you to understand the People in general-don't know what to say or how to express themselves when someone is going through the difficult path you are on. So, instead thay talk about foolish, silly non-consequencial "stuff" and ignore the reality of something REAL and very, very scarry. like death. I don't think it means that you are meaningless at all
Actually, you are probably the most meaningful person on this board today. Unfortunately, I don't think a lot of thye people here are capable of the compasion that is needed in your life right now

Please accept my compasion, prayers, wishes and hopes that you will be able to get through this difficult time in your life, with the strength that you are seaching for...you have my sympathy and my sincere wishes for lighter days ahead
~~dreams,
eclipse~~

[dissention]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

As long as we're on this subject, I have a few things to say. I know it won't matter one way or the other what I say because I'm not one of the group. I don't have anything insightful, witty or super-intelligent to say but I do post a lot (Amber, you told me this is what makes people pay attention and respond). I posted that my dad is dying and it's conflicting for me because he split when I was a kid and made it clear he never wanted a kid. A few people said something. In this thread, only one even noticed that I hadn't posted for a few days and cared where I was. Mari, thank you! The other topic was complaints about being single. The responses to that topic (which is essentially much more important than my father losing his life) got pages and pages of responses, sympathy and backslapping. Not that not having a date Friday night isn't serious business. It is. But, don't say this board isn't a popularity contest because it is. I'm meaningless and therefore my father's desertion and death is, too. I don't have a hard time calling it for what it is. I didn't post what I did because I wanted attention. This is real to me. I traveled for 16 hours total (in layovers and change of planes) to get from LA to Brasil so I could see my dad one last time. I'm dealing with years of conflict over being abandoned and trying desperately to love my dad now while I can. It's real to me. I would have never said anything about the pages and pages of crying over being single and dateless among the *popular* group, while my dad's death was almost completely ignored, but as long as we're on the subject of cliques.. If this wasn't proof, I don't know what is. I'll get over it. It's a message board and my dad will pass whether or not I have your sympathies or concern, right? I'm just calling it as I see it. You can ignore me or dislike me even more now and use this as justification. I started this thread (the original one, part 1) for people to open up about their happiness, their pain, their whatever and I'm glad everyone's having a good time with it. But, the relevance of someone's life does depend on popularity here and I admit that I was pretty shocked that my dad's death was worth one post, while being dateless was worth pages. I don't have anything witty, insightful or super-intelligent to say about that.

You're not meaningless and neither is your father's death. I haven't read this entire thread, so I didn't see your post about what you were going through, so please don't think that I or anyone else was snubbing you. I'm very sorry and sincerely don't want you to feel that way. I apologize for taking part in hijacking this thread and helping to turn it into such nonsense.

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

As long as we're on this subject, I have a few things to say. I know it won't matter one way or the other what I say because I'm not one of the group. I don't have anything insightful, witty or super-intelligent to say but I do post a lot (Amber, you told me this is what makes people pay attention and respond). I posted that my dad is dying and it's conflicting for me because he split when I was a kid and made it clear he never wanted a kid. A few people said something. In this thread, only one even noticed that I hadn't posted for a few days and cared where I was. Mari, thank you! The other topic was complaints about being single. The responses to that topic (which is essentially much more important than my father losing his life) got pages and pages of responses, sympathy and backslapping. Not that not having a date Friday night isn't serious business. It is. But, don't say this board isn't a popularity contest because it is. I'm meaningless and therefore my father's desertion and death is, too. I don't have a hard time calling it for what it is. I didn't post what I did because I wanted attention. This is real to me. I traveled for 16 hours total (in layovers and change of planes) to get from LA to Brasil so I could see my dad one last time. I'm dealing with years of conflict over being abandoned and trying desperately to love my dad now while I can. It's real to me. I would have never said anything about the pages and pages of crying over being single and dateless among the *popular* group, while my dad's death was almost completely ignored, but as long as we're on the subject of cliques.. If this wasn't proof, I don't know what is. I'll get over it. It's a message board and my dad will pass whether or not I have your sympathies or concern, right? I'm just calling it as I see it. You can ignore me or dislike me even more now and use this as justification. I started this thread (the original one, part 1) for people to open up about their happiness, their pain, their whatever and I'm glad everyone's having a good time with it. But, the relevance of someone's life does depend on popularity here and I admit that I was pretty shocked that my dad's death was worth one post, while being dateless was worth pages. I don't have anything witty, insightful or super-intelligent to say about that.

I'm really sorry about this. This is a case of me not reading an entire thread and then missing the most important thing. Eclispe has a point--I would've had a hard time finding words for you had I seen it and I because it's sadly true how much easier it is for people to talk about being single. I think Pattie has a point, too, in saying that sometimes the totally irrelevant posts get lots of responses and the meaningful ones are left out in the cold. I'm really sorry about your father. I know the many of us here on the board want to be here for you if you want to talk about it more, but I understand if you're turned off to confiding in the board at this point. I didn't realize you had been gone because I hardly ever notice someone being gone unless that person really does posts 30 times a day or something, and then it's hard not to notice that the person's gone. I become scarce sometimes myself because I have schoolwork to do and such, and I figure that others have to take off for similar reasons, too. Besides, others have full time jobs and I don't. But I really just want to stress that if I had seen your post I would have responded; I would not have ignored you because you're relatively new to this board. I still have not forgotten when I was new to this board. Compared to a lot of others, I'm still new to this board. I'm just really sorry about this, and I'm really, really sorry about your father.

[GateandGarden]

I know it's pathetic, lame, and cliche, but in regards to how last night's innocent snarking turned nasty, I really just wish we could all get along. I care very much about Amber, Josh, and Lux (in no particular order; that's why I did alphabetical so I wouldn't have to pick an order) and I hate how this has happened. And I was happy that you, Darrelle, started posting more often because I think you're really funny and I am always glad to see different people contributing. I'm really sorry that you have negative feelings about the board; I hope someone (me or whoever) could change your mind somehow.

And this is just my two cents and my perception of what's going on, but Lux, I think that what Josh said to you was unnecessarily mean so I was glad to see that he apologized. I think he made that comment in response to yours about him because he thought you were being serious when I believe you were actually joking. Joking or not, I think your comment still came off as mean. To me, it read like you were trying to make a joke out of it but it still represented the way you really feel about him and it was also (sorry to be repetitive) mean. I think that is the point Amber is trying to make, but you don't want to consider what she's saying at all.

[DrummerDeanna]

Gawd- I'm not even going to address the majority of the pages I've just sloshed through.

The one post that really caught my attention was La Gringa's. I did read your post. Honestly? It was really heavy and simply I didn't know what to say. I had every intention (believe it or not) of coming back later and addressing it in some way.

Still - I have no clue what to say - so a simple, "I'm really sorry for what you're going through right now" Will have to suffice. I, myself, haven't seen my father in oh some 15+ years - I don't know if he's alive or dead or what So I think it really must be an intense thing for you to be there at the end of his life - I'm sorry you felt unimportant.

Thanks though for your very heartfelt post about feeling ignored etc - you're right - it does seem strange that a post of such magnitude was widely ignored while my date rantings were addressed - but like someone said before - perhaps more people could relate to that? I don't know.

[trackaghost]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

As long as we're on this subject, I have a few things to say. I know it won't matter one way or the other what I say because I'm not one of the group. I don't have anything insightful, witty or super-intelligent to say but I do post a lot (Amber, you told me this is what makes people pay attention and respond). I posted that my dad is dying and it's conflicting for me because he split when I was a kid and made it clear he never wanted a kid. A few people said something. In this thread, only one even noticed that I hadn't posted for a few days and cared where I was. Mari, thank you! The other topic was complaints about being single. The responses to that topic (which is essentially much more important than my father losing his life) got pages and pages of responses, sympathy and backslapping. Not that not having a date Friday night isn't serious business. It is. But, don't say this board isn't a popularity contest because it is. I'm meaningless and therefore my father's desertion and death is, too. I don't have a hard time calling it for what it is. I didn't post what I did because I wanted attention. This is real to me. I traveled for 16 hours total (in layovers and change of planes) to get from LA to Brasil so I could see my dad one last time. I'm dealing with years of conflict over being abandoned and trying desperately to love my dad now while I can. It's real to me. I would have never said anything about the pages and pages of crying over being single and dateless among the *popular* group, while my dad's death was almost completely ignored, but as long as we're on the subject of cliques.. If this wasn't proof, I don't know what is. I'll get over it. It's a message board and my dad will pass whether or not I have your sympathies or concern, right? I'm just calling it as I see it. You can ignore me or dislike me even more now and use this as justification. I started this thread (the original one, part 1) for people to open up about their happiness, their pain, their whatever and I'm glad everyone's having a good time with it. But, the relevance of someone's life does depend on popularity here and I admit that I was pretty shocked that my dad's death was worth one post, while being dateless was worth pages. I don't have anything witty, insightful or super-intelligent to say about that.

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad, I am truly am. I haven't been reading this thread at all but I really do hope you're okay. This thread is already 12 pages long and sometimes posts get lost in amongst all the chatter, even important ones such as yours. I wish I had some good advice to give you, but all I can say is that is does get better.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

As long as we're on this subject, I have a few things to say. I know it won't matter one way or the other what I say because I'm not one of the group. I don't have anything insightful, witty or super-intelligent to say but I do post a lot (Amber, you told me this is what makes people pay attention and respond). I posted that my dad is dying and it's conflicting for me because he split when I was a kid and made it clear he never wanted a kid. A few people said something. In this thread, only one even noticed that I hadn't posted for a few days and cared where I was. Mari, thank you! The other topic was complaints about being single. The responses to that topic (which is essentially much more important than my father losing his life) got pages and pages of responses, sympathy and backslapping. Not that not having a date Friday night isn't serious business. It is. But, don't say this board isn't a popularity contest because it is. I'm meaningless and therefore my father's desertion and death is, too. I don't have a hard time calling it for what it is. I didn't post what I did because I wanted attention. This is real to me. I traveled for 16 hours total (in layovers and change of planes) to get from LA to Brasil so I could see my dad one last time. I'm dealing with years of conflict over being abandoned and trying desperately to love my dad now while I can. It's real to me. I would have never said anything about the pages and pages of crying over being single and dateless among the *popular* group, while my dad's death was almost completely ignored, but as long as we're on the subject of cliques.. If this wasn't proof, I don't know what is. I'll get over it. It's a message board and my dad will pass whether or not I have your sympathies or concern, right? I'm just calling it as I see it. You can ignore me or dislike me even more now and use this as justification. I started this thread (the original one, part 1) for people to open up about their happiness, their pain, their whatever and I'm glad everyone's having a good time with it. But, the relevance of someone's life does depend on popularity here and I admit that I was pretty shocked that my dad's death was worth one post, while being dateless was worth pages. I don't have anything witty, insightful or super-intelligent to say about that.

Well, I think you are a nice person and very cool. I admire you for kicking your habit and breaking off a bad relationship. I'm sorry about your Dad. You deserved to have a present father who adored you and I am sorry you did not. And now you have to go through the pain of visiting him while he is dying, I can only imagine how that feels.

I'm sorry I did not reply to your post before. I hope that you feel better soon. Do something nice for yourself today. Please know that you are in our hearts and thoughts whether or not we post.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by eclipse

I come to the board to read Stevie happenings, pictures, stories about a band---The gossip, chatter and reflections on an earlier time in my life -that I associate a lot of what I have actually become- the person that I am, with this band of people that I have listend to and followed for 30+ years...

When here, I am saddened to find such sadness, name calling, dispair and sometimes outright desperation, I find people who are hurting and need some support and a place to feel safe posting their inner turmoils and heartaches..after all, No one REALLY knows you and they can't judge you and it allows some healing to be able to write something down and then send it away...

When here, I am amazed at the silly chatter, games that are played and the "family" that so many members have become-Curtis, Amber and Lux and Dissention ans Pattie and Claudia and Shel , and Hillary and Chris and...and so many people...that I really know, about them---- only what they want me, or anyone else posting/reading -to know.
Some days they are happy and somedays they are not. But they always have something to say ,maybe just to each other or to the whole board--

We have (in what I have observed,) a very large population of people in many countries, in many age groups, different social classes, different interests, and mostly....with many thoughts that they want to share and with so very man ,many, different priorities!!

That said- Please know there are people that are concerened and worried about you and your relationship with your Dad-but it is a heavy subject, not many people know how to deal and accept the healty realatives in their lives...forget about when it becomes serious and very real, there is nothing more akward than death.
Please don't think that I am belittling your trauma, because I am not- I just want to help you to understand the People in general-don't know what to say or how to express themselves when someone is going through the difficult path you are on. So, instead thay talk about foolish, silly non-consequencial "stuff" and ignore the reality of something REAL and very, very scarry. like death. I don't think it means that you are meaningless at all
Actually, you are probably the most meaningful person on this board today. Unfortunately, I don't think a lot of thye people here are capable of the compasion that is needed in your life right now

Please accept my compasion, prayers, wishes and hopes that you will be able to get through this difficult time in your life, with the strength that you are seaching for...you have my sympathy and my sincere wishes for lighter days ahead
~~dreams,
eclipse~~

This was a really thoughtful and insightful post and I think you are right on the money here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[David]

Originally Posted by dreamongypsydkm

So we wanted a thread where we could LOL and at eachother in peace and get the replies we deserve.

How come you never include me, you little pipsqueak?

[David]

Originally Posted by amber

I was serious. Also, I was joking. I'm very complex and murcurial.

Have you read what Camille Paglia has to say about the mercurial sexual persona in "Sexual Personae"? It is very interesting.

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

As long as we're on this subject, I have a few things to say....

I came into the thread a little late, and didn't start reading from the beginning (a bad habit of mine). I knew you were in Brazil, but I hadn't realized the exact reason... so I'd also like to apologize for having missed the initial post about your father and the reasons for your trip.

Beyond that, I wish I was better able to articulate to you how deeply my heart goes out to you. This is one of those situations where mere words don't seem adequate.
But you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you're able to find solace during this extremely difficult time.

From the way you express yourself in your posts and from the pics you've posted, it's clear that you're a beautiful person inside and out.
I'm sorry I hadn't communicated that to you before. It takes me a while to really start conversing with people in a major way. It's not snobbery, but a remnant of my inherent shyness. I often take my time getting to know someone.
We can be a pretty overwhelming group of people here, and some of us are definitely a little too quick with the sarcasm and aggressive debates... which I know can intimidate people who are new to the fold.
But I think overall we're all good people. I think most Ledgies are above "cliques," and immature behaviour such as that, and aren't meaning to exclude anyone at all as we talk to the people we've come to know over the years.

I hope you'll stay with us, and continue adding your thoughts and insights.

[lagringader&r]

Thanks everybody for what you said. In a big way, I almost wish I hadn't posted that last night. I was really, really tired and feeling emotional and then the whole subject of cliques came up and others feeling left out, soo one thing led to another and I found myself giving my .02. To the person who said they come here for lighthearted stuff, I do too. However, I've seen others that weren't so lighthearted and needed something. I know most hate this song, but "sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze." I still think if someone who was more *popular* had posted what I did, there would be 100 pages following and if anyone ignored it, they would be the exception. But, I droned on about that last night so I won't do it today. When I started this thread initially, this was how I introduced it:

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

This is an idea I had for a thread, but I don't know how well it will work out. Basically, it's a thread to just express your thoughts at any given time. For instance, you could use it to vent, say something you're thinking about but don't feel comfortable saying out loud to anyone else, a song that's running through your head, etc. It can be as meaningless or as important as you want it to be. You don't have to be shy about how you express it either. Just go straight from your mind to writing it down. Anything goes. Even if it's embarrassing, it's great therapy and you're among friends. You can tease in here, but you can't judge. Make sense?

So, I'm not downplaying being dateless but I'm also not downplaying the bigger stuff. I think it should be a *dumping ground* for whatever you have to say. I would have never said anything at all about the ignoring of what I posted, but the subject came up and a few people were making some good points (which is apparently why they started the conversation back and forth, while others felt excluded). I think they were trying to prove a point. I wouldn't have gone there but they did, so I added my .02. It got heavy due to lack of sleep, being emotional and the situation itself.

Ok, so I still hope everybody feels free to *dump* in this thread. That's what it's for! Thanks again for your thoughts.

[Mari]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

Gawd, you really are sweet! Somebody actually noticed I was gone? You have no idea how good that made me feel. Thanks. Being here with him is a reminder everyday of what he didn't want (me) and now I'm forced on him. I always feel about 2 feet tall when I'm anywhere near him. So, I'm trying not to be hard on myself and I am here for him. I don't hold grudges either. I knew it's something I had to do for him and maybe for me, too. Thanks for thinking about me! xoxoxoxoxoxo

I thought you probably were in Brazil as you posted in the last random thoughts thread, but I was wondering how you were doing there. I can just relate a bit to your story, you know. I guess there will be a time one day when I'll have to make the same choice with my dad, and I just feel for you. It's a ****ty situation.. I think it's big of you that you don't hold grudges and that you can do this! Sorry you have to go through all that but I guess this is something good in this. Take care

[SuzeQuze]

I met a cutie last night and he had the most hilarious story. He's a cop and he had to testify in a case against a man who molested his step-daughter. I know, that part isn't light. He was the officer who arrived at the home of this man and arrested him. His wife caught him in the act and called the police but he didn't know this. She took her daugher and left before the police arrived.

So Jake* has to "pat-frisk" this guy to make sure he doesn't have any weapons. He frisks him and notices the man has a "large, erect penis". His words, and he uses these in his report. It gets better.

So at trial he's giving his testimony and the defense lawyer is cross-examining and asks "What did you discover when you pat-frisked so and so?"

Jake, "Well, I don't know how to say this."

Lawyer, "Just say it."

Jake, "I discovered a large, erect penis."

Lawyer, "Are you a doctor?"

Jake, "No."

Lawyer, "Do you have any experience with a large, erect penis?"

Jake, "I have 28 years of hands-on experience with a large, erect penis."

EVERYONE laughed at this including the judge. Oh man, that story made my weekend. Oh yeah, so did the officer. Get yer mind outta the gutter!

*Name changed to protect the innocent.

[Mari]

good one...

random thought? I'm going to a Brian Wilson concert tomorrow night in Amsterdam