Gay Ledgies of the World Unite! - Page 2

The Tower · #16 10-12-2004, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

Signing in as a homo

-Curt

GateandGarden · #17 10-12-2004, 06:10 PM

Since this is a whole gay thread (which is a great thing), I have a question for all of you gays out there. Do you often have people say things to you like, "Oh, I really support gay rights. I mean, I have lots of gay friends." To me, that's like saying, "I have lots of black friends." Besides, I'm pretty sure everyone has gay friends or acquaintances at this point. It seems that when people make a point of saying things like that, they're implying that there really is a major difference between us. They could say, "I really support gay rights because everyone should be treated equally."

Of course, I realize that we (gays) have a tendency to set ourselves apart from the rest of society in many ways. (Take parades, bars, clubs, etc., for example). But maybe all of this is inevitable, until we do have equality. I find that it's an endless debate. Many say that Black History Month is unnecessary and harmful even because it sets blacks apart from whites, when that is what we intended not to do. But in the U.S., many wouldn't learn about black history any other way, and until that changes, I suppose we do need Black History Month.

Is this resonating with anyone? I know it's some meandering, but I think it's all related.

Hillary

GateandGarden · #18 10-12-2004, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

Maybe you should get your booty outta Louisiana!!

Where i am, i feel weird NOT being gay

(not really, but kinda...) Come to the giant women's softball team that is berkeley....

(again, i'm kidding)

I bet I would love just to visit for awhile! That would be such a different world. I'm usually such an extreme outcast.

Hillary

amber · #19 10-12-2004, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Tower

No one needs to try, honey- he's basically a Friend of Dorothy anyways.

(

to Dissention)

Just cause of that Doug guy? I don't think so. Stevie, Isabelle Adjani, and Parker Posey are on my *list*, too, but i'm not really a friend of...uh...Martina? But much luck to you. And shouldn't we be calling you Friends of Stevie here?

The Tower · #20 10-12-2004, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

I think it's absolutely wonderful that you can say that because I am so far from being there. Maybe one day I can feel that great about being gay.

Well, then let me help ya out with some things that might make you feel better!

1) If you want to, you will get to have children when you decide you want and when you are ready to take care of them emotionally and financially.

2) As a woman, you are already familiar with the ins and outs of a woman's body- therefore, you are primed and ready to be able to please your partner without all that guesswork.

3) Disposable income!

4) The government has no control over your relationships- since there is no burden of having to worry about whether or not be married, your relationship will always be based on whether or not you are in love and the your desire to be together, rather than having to worry about legal entanglements.

5) You can't get drafted!

6) No birth control!

7) You don't have to concern yourself with parents pressuring you to have a child.

8) Fabulous culture with a world full of friends to make.

I could go on and on and on......

amber · #21 10-12-2004, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

I bet I would love just to visit for awhile! That would be such a different world. I'm usually such an extreme outcast.

Hillary

Really? Why would you be an outcast? You mean when you walk around with your girlfriend? I don't get it...

And to your other point, obviously i see what you mean, but perhaps these people are really trying to sort of comfort you the best way they can think of, you know, let you know they are not judging you. And maybe they are doing it in that less-than-perfect way because they know there is so much prejudice. At least i hope that's what it is. It's kinda lame, yeah, but hopefully at least these people have good intentions.
You should come here...there's lotsa cuties. And I know for sure the gay bar up the street from my house is really fun, and that's just one...you should wait till your 21....

amber · #22 10-12-2004, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Tower

I could go on and on and on......

lemme add another one: Boys are dumb

Amber

The Tower · #23 10-12-2004, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Is this resonating with anyone? I know it's some meandering, but I think it's all related.

I think celebrating diversity is a good thing. I think the reason why there isn't a "Straight Pride Parade" is because it's unnecessary- almost any parade could qualify for that. All you have to do is turn on the tee-vee or walk outside to experience the straight world- it's plastered everywhere for all to see.

If your straight friends really do care, I wouldn't consider their comments condescending. A born again christian that I work with refers to my partner as my "friend" as in "Hey, what are you and your friend doing this weekend?" That word in that context is like nails on a chalkboard to me, but I know her heart's in the right place and that she's trying to be nice, so it's alright.

The Tower · #24 10-12-2004, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

lemme add another one: Boys are dumb

Amber

See Amber, you're one step closer to having a mullet, moving in with a girl you met after one or two dates (she just happens to be your exes ex) and rockin' out to the Indigo Girls at the Michigan Womyn's Festival!!!

amber · #25 10-12-2004, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Tower

See Amber, you're one step closer to having a mullet, moving in with a girl you met after one or two dates (she just happens to be your exes ex) and rockin' out to the Indigo Girls at the Michigan Womyn's Festival!!!

ok, but who's gonna like me with a mullet?

See, i'm still very vain, so i'm still a gay man...

Wow, watch the stereotypes fly!!!

AMber

amber · #26 10-12-2004, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lux

Meh, I'm just angsty. I have more gay friends than straight ones (I did film at university, there were about 3 of us straight students) so if I'm in a group it's usually entirely gay people and I end up almost getting **** for being straight. I also somehow end up being the representative for all straight people and if feels like I'm copping the blame for others' acts of discrimination. Obviously I'm not homophobic, far from it, as my friends are gay (or maybe I'm a homophobic combined with a masochist.....no I don't think so). However I'm also scared to say this kind of thing for fear of being tsked at, getting condescending glares and being tied to a pole and having tomotoes lobbed at me. Obviously saying it on a message board is different, I have no limitations.

Curtis, are you height challenged?

You are pretty angsty...At least you penetrated their "inner circle"

How can you be the representative for all straight people if your hanging out with a bunch of gay people all the time?

Put on your see through tube dress and go get a boyfriend....

Then you'll really have something to be angsty about(kidding)

ontheEdgeof17 · #27 10-12-2004, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lux

Curtis, are you height challenged?

Yes. Yes, I am.

...nah.....just the effect I was going for.

-Curt

Johnny Stew · #28 10-12-2004, 10:55 PM

Uhm, well I guess it's pretty anti-climatic for me to say I'm gay (what?! when?!!

), but I figured I'd chime-in too.

Hillary, don't worry... a lot of us go through periods of self-doubt, confusion, etc. And, unfortunately, not everyone gets to a place of self-pride. But it is possible to come from crippling self-doubt to being comfortable in your own skin.

Trust me, about 6-7 years ago, or so, I was NOT "proud to be gay." It was something I struggled with for a long time. I denied my sexual orientation to myself and anyone who would listen.

And I totally relate to what the Tower said about expriencing life and love through Mac/Stevie songs when I was a teenager. That music was my only outlet... I wasn't yet able to express myself in my own words, so I expressed myself through Stevie's.

I'm not the first person to say this, so I can't take credit... but being gay ain't for sissies. I wouldn't have chosen to be gay (I scoff at anyone who calls homosexuality a "lifestyle choice"), but I'm glad to now be able to say that I'm happy with who I am and I'm happy to be gay.
It adds a certain amount of complications and difficulties to one's life, but we all have our crosses to bear, so to speak.

I find myself in an odd position, because, being gay, I inherently don't fit in entirely with straight people... but I also don't fit in entirely with the so-called gay community either. I'm not the "ruggedly macho," sports-loving, outdoor-living type, but I'm not the more flamboyant type either.
I've been told by well-meaning friends that I need to wear my hair in "gay styles," or that I need to "dress more gay," etc. I've also been told on many occasion that I need to "play the game" if I want to find someone.
Maybe I'm stubborn, but I prefer to play by my own rules, and stay true to myself.

People want to pigeon-hole you... even other gay people. But, as a wise man once said, "it's important to remember that no one falls into a simple set of labels."

So, Hillary, my best advice to you, would be to stay true to yourself. Eventually you'll feel good about yourself in general, and not just about being gay. Sexual orientation is just one VERY small part of who we are (or at least it should be).

Nixxxed · #29 10-12-2004, 11:02 PM

Queer here!

I think things are definitely getting better. When I was a twirling closeted gay adolescent, I never thought there would be gay proms, gay weddings, gay people all over TV, or vocal gay political groups and leaders.

Thank God today's gay youth are growing up in a world where they see themselves better reflected in society, even if it is somewhat in a harsh light at times. It just makes them stronger, in the end, and that's what matters.

Our next task is to truly unite and pool our resources and power, and we're home free. It won't be easy, and it won't be quick, but it will happen. Who knows -- maybe the thread you're reading right now could create the spark that changes the world!

Johnny Stew · #30 10-12-2004, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nixxxed

I think things are definitely getting better. When I was a twirling closeted gay adolescent, I never thought there would be gay proms, gay weddings, gay people all over TV, or vocal gay political groups and leaders.

Oh, man, I know! I'm in awe when I hear about openly gay high school students, and same-gender couples going to senior prom together, etc.
I could never have imagined that when I was in school. Being closeted seemed like the only way one could get through high school in, roughly, one piece.

I think anytime a minority group makes in-roads, there's bound to be a level of backlash... people hold onto old ways of acting and thinking, with extreme tenacity... but the progress we're making can't be taken away from us. We've achieved too much to allow ourselves to be shoved back into the dark reaches of the proverbial closet.
But the struggles aren't over, and we still have a long way to go.

Someday ALL in the Gay/Lesbian community will feel comfortable with being themselves, and won't have to worry about the violence and prejudice that we're still often faced with today.

"Let there be light in this lifetime...."