Feuds

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by Mari

^Sara1998 Some people sure know to choose the worst moments, don't they? Jesus, she should mind her own f*cking business if you ask me!

Last funeral I went to was my grandmom (mom's side of the family) last year. That's when my dad decided to show up unannounced. Hadn't seen him before that for over 10 years and would like to keep it that way. Yeah he picked a great moment too. He was grovelling before us, me and my mum.. oh so pitiful. But the next time I heard of him he was trying to get his way, manipulating and bossing me around just as he'd always done. I guess I'm glad to've seen him again and have a new image of him (grey old scruffy pitiful man) instead of that man I was scared of in my childhood, though. 'kay, enough personal stuff for today

Maybe your dad and my grandma should get togther. Sounds like they'd be good for eachother......

[Mari]

[EnchantedSLN]

I don't think I have any feuds.

There are a lot in my family though. My grandmother's brother died several years ago, and his children had him cremated and spread his ashes according to his final wishes. In the Jewish faith, you're not supposed to do this. So, my grandmother was very upset about it and saw it as a slap in the face to her brother's life and religion, even though it was apparently what he wanted. She cut all ties with them and has refused to acknowledge them as part of our family ever since. She has Alzheimer's now and can't remember much of anything anymore, but she still remembers that she hates them all . (She also blamed his death on them, to an extent. He died of a cocaine overdose and she felt it was their fault for not getting their father the help he needed before it was too late.)

One of my grandmother's sisters, Vicki, was killed under mysterious circumstances about 15 years ago. The investigation never led anywhere, but my family is convinced the man she was living with at the time had something to do with it. There was a fair amount of money involved. Her daughter seemed to know some details that she wasn't giving up, so she has subsequently been excluded from the family too.

Also, we used to be really close to one of my mother's cousins... when my parents got divorced and my mom & I had to make an unexpected move across the country (abusive situation, big mess), she allowed us to live in one of their homes (yes, plural) in Scottsdale for 1 year so that my mom could get on her feet somewhere where my dad wouldn't think to look, and then permanently move to California where most of her family was. Her cousin even came out and stayed with us for about 4 months of that year to show my mom around and help her find a new job and get me in school and stuff. When we moved out at the end of that year, the cousin's husband said some really unsavory stuff to my mom (about how he didn't know why they were helping his wife's trashy family blah blah blah). Said cousin didn't say a word in defense of us, so that was a sore spot between her & my mom for a long time. It irked me because she was like an aunt to me and while I was naturally defensive of my mom, she had always been good to me & I didn't want to completely lose touch with her. This was a long time ago and things have simmered down a bit... I've visited her numerous times over the years and her and my mom are on civil terms, but they'll never be real close again.

Wait, was that my family or a synopsis for a Lifetime movie marathon?

[skcin]

Originally Posted by xdreamsunwindx

My dad and I are *barely* on speaking terms. There are times where we go weeks without talking to eachother. There are a lot of grudges between us. He has a drinking problem, treats my mother and I like ****, and is in general an incredibly bitter person, and he's totally against everything I do. He's not happy with the fact that I'm playing in rock bands, that I'm a vegitarian and an animal rights supporter, a liberal, etc. He hates the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate. He gave me the "little girls should be seen and not heard" speech MANY times in the past few years. I'm like, I'm fifteen years old, I'm not a little girl, and you should be HAPPY with the fact that I know how to express my views intelligently. I don't want to get into the rest of it now, because I'll just get pissed off and stuff.

Also, much of my extended family hates me because I hate George Bush and don't practice a certain religion, and they're all uber conservative christians. Plus, they think that I worship Satan. -_- Then there's a few people I went to middle school with whom I absolutely despise. They just ****ed with me and my friends, and I didn't dig that at all. They know I hate them, too. Preps are evil. EVIL.

As far as celebrity feuds go, I could care less. Though, I think that Lindsay Lohan could deffinitely kick Jessica Simpson's ass.

Kate,

1 - If your dad can't be proud of you for being a strong, smart, independent woman then it's up to you to be proud of yourself. I hope you are. If not, I hope you will learn to be. Sounds like he's afraid of your strong will.

2 - Preps in school are evil. There's just no way around it. Don't worry - karma's a bitch & they will get theirs someday (I speak from experience )

3 - Yes, Hohan should brawl with Jessica. That would be funny.

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

I know. I just chose not to pursue it.

Fair enough.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Jesus I'm sorry that bomb exploded in your life. Those kinds of betrayals cut very deep. My parents split at about the same time and even though I am an adult I still haven't gotten over it either.

I don't really have any feuds exactly but there's a whole family I used to be friendly with that I am not anymore. I met them through a woman I worked with while in college. Over the years I got to know each of her family members. After being with my fiance for 8 years, including all dating years, things really began to fall apart. I confided a lot in this woman's sister. She knew some very personal things that nobody else knew. But after I wound up leaving she moved in with him 2 weeks later. When I found out I vomitted.

That was the most difficult year of my life and I never want to feel like that again. I am very careful about the people I will hang around with now. I barely got through that year. It really felt like something exploded in the middle of my life and I was living in the pieces. I had no home (temporarily with parents), no kitties (he had my girls), few friends and none who weren't somehow related to this woman. It was awful.

Last week my ex was playing a gig. Also a mutual friend of ours was going on as the next act. I really wanted to go but I couldn't do it. It would depress me to see her there and all. So it still does affect me these 7 years later.

Yes, my mother decided to leave my father after I left my ex (while I was living back at home). I was so mad at her for that, still am. Oh man this thread is depressing! But it reminds me of how far I have come because now I am living the life that I want to instead of trying to fit some mold that he wanted me to be.

Sorry the thread depresses you.
I don't think avoiding someone who hurt you qualifies as a feud. A feud is more aggressive than that, IMO.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by sara1998

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a disfunctional family... but I'm sorry all of you go through this ****.

My grandmother, on my mom's side is one big bitch. See, my mom's mom's side of the family reminds me of the troll with their extreme right views. They are holier-than-thou, and don't dare tell them any different. My grandmother has always treated my mom like ****. She has never liked my dad because he don't take **** from no one, including her. And, of coarse, I'm not good enough either, because I'm my fathers daughter, and I won't take her **** either. So, rewind back to my Jason's funeral. This is when I basically cut off all contact with grandma. She came up to Indiana (she lives in Tennessee) for the funeral. So, when she got here, a few days before the funeral, she was around basically while I was planning it. I buried him in a t-shirt and blue jeans, becasue he would not be comfortable buried in a suit and tie. (call me crazy, it's how I think) I also had a closed casket to spare Sara of any unwanted trauma. Well, grandma first threw a fit because he was not "dressed up" to meet his maker, and went on to bitch because it was a closed casket. She could'nt see him. WTF? She told the rest of the family that I said not to bother sending flowers, because I didn't want them. Needless to say, she went home the day before the funeral. Things didn't go her way.

Now, I just lost my favorite grandfather 2 Saturdays ago when I was in California. This is grandma's ex-husband, my mom's dad. I love her dad's side of the family. They are the partiers. Put it this way, grandpa was buried with his cigarettes, lighter, and a fifth of vodka. Grandma came up from Tennessee showing her ass again, about in the same way she did at Jason's funeral. Her and my dad really got into it, and grandma told my dad that she will be sure that she takes my mom away from him. My folks have been married 29 years now. I'm sure mom's not going anywhere! LOL... No one is talking to her now. She's damn lucky I was out of state because I would have went the f*ck off on her. She's one of those if it's not her way, she's pissed off about it. NEver mind that this is her ex-husband of 40 years..... I have cut off all contact with her, and could care less if I ever speak to her again.

Wow, sorry you had to deal with that foolishness at such a difficult time. My mother's mother was something of a horror as well, to the point where I never met her even though we lived in the same city & I was ten when she died.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by xdreamsunwindx

My dad and I are *barely* on speaking terms. There are times where we go weeks without talking to eachother. There are a lot of grudges between us. He has a drinking problem, treats my mother and I like ****, and is in general an incredibly bitter person, and he's totally against everything I do. He's not happy with the fact that I'm playing in rock bands, that I'm a vegitarian and an animal rights supporter, a liberal, etc. He hates the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate. He gave me the "little girls should be seen and not heard" speech MANY times in the past few years. I'm like, I'm fifteen years old, I'm not a little girl, and you should be HAPPY with the fact that I know how to express my views intelligently. I don't want to get into the rest of it now, because I'll just get pissed off and stuff.

Also, much of my extended family hates me because I hate George Bush and don't practice a certain religion, and they're all uber conservative christians. Plus, they think that I worship Satan. -_- Then there's a few people I went to middle school with whom I absolutely despise. They just ****ed with me and my friends, and I didn't dig that at all. They know I hate them, too. Preps are evil. EVIL.

As far as celebrity feuds go, I could care less. Though, I think that Lindsay Lohan could deffinitely kick Jessica Simpson's ass.

Is your father's last name Bunker?

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by EnchantedSLN

One of my grandmother's sisters, Vicki, was killed under mysterious circumstances about 15 years ago. The investigation never led anywhere, but my family is convinced the man she was living with at the time had something to do with it. There was a fair amount of money involved. Her daughter seemed to know some details that she wasn't giving up, so she has subsequently been excluded from the family too.

It's so nice when money strengthens family ties, isn't it?
My mother's two sisters fought over my grandmother's diamond ring and her fair coat.
The older sister got (took) the ring, though she & her mother hadn't spoken for years. The younger sister was the only one to have kept contact with my grandmother, so my mother said to let her have it. The older sister didn't comply.
In terms of the mink, all three sisters wanted it. It was too small on the oldest sister, too big on the youngest sister, and fit my mom perfectly. The oldest sister took it.
I am proud to say that my mother got past these petty issues and found more important reasons not to talk to either sister years later.

- Jake

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

My mom and her sisters don't talk to one another. Her older sister's daughter (my mother's niece) doesn't talk to her own sister or mother, but is very close to my mother. That same older sister's husband's sister didn't talk to that sister either, but was close to my mother. I could add many more examples. In-laws and Outlaws.

We had a crazy neighbor when I was a teenager. Long story short, she was obsessed by "getting" my mother, who did her best to ignore it. Things were complicated because while the woman did not live on my street, she was best friends with our next-door-neighbor, and when my mom would go to her own car, Arlene would shout obscenities at her from the steps. I thought it was pretty crappy of our next-door neighbor Gail to allow it. (Incidentally, Arlene turned on Gail years ago, and afterwards she sued the county for money because her house literally sank far into the earth, so there is some justice.) But at the time I thought my mom went too far in being nice. The Friday before hs graduation I had a big party, & my mom ordered a sheet cake. I went with her to pick it up. As we walked from the parking space to the bakery, a car FLEW into the lot at us. Had I not jumped and grabbed my mom with me, we would have been mowed down. The car veered into a spot right nearby. Out steps Arlene with a big smile along with her young daughter. (How healthy.) I was shaking with anger, but my mom just stepped into the bakery. In my stupid youth I wished immediately that I had let Arlene hit me just to show her up. To this day I've never understood completely why my mother bent so far in terms of never doing anything to defend herself, especially since my miother can be hell on wheels when other people have given her crap. I imagine she didn't want to escalate the situations, but when somebody goes after you and your kid & harasses you by your home, action is warranted, IMO.

Many people have heard of the Bette Davis-Joan Crawford feud, which I was reminded of by the recent mention here of What Ever Happened To Baby Jane. And some people have speculated on David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey.

In my own life, I try to avoid pissing contests - not always easy in my family and my workplace. There are certainly exes I'd prefer not to bump into, but I can't say I'm feuding with anybody.

Now the questions.
- Are there feuds in your life? (In all seriousness, let's nobody refer to any squabbles between posters. )
- Are there celebrity feuds you "follow?"
- What would somebody have to do to you to draw you into an ongoing feud?

- Jake

My Lord - I thought feuds were solely in the assumed inbred South

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

My Lord - I thought feuds were solely in the assumed inbred South

There are no southerners in my family except for my mother's uncle who left Philly or New York to conduct the Birmingham Symphony many years ago, and he avoided ANY contact with relatives ever again.

- Jake

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

There are no southerners in my family except for my mother's uncle who left Philly or New York to conduct the Birmingham Symphony many years ago, and he avoided ANY contact with relatives ever again.

- Jake

Knowing you - who'd blame him

for the feignt of heart - I am joking with Jake

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

My Lord - I thought feuds were solely in the assumed inbred South

Funny you say that... all of my mom's mom's side of the family were born, raised, and still living in Tennessee!

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Knowing you - who'd blame him

for the feignt of heart - I am joking with Jake

All happened long before my birth, thank you.
And hey, I'm a thousand miles from my relatives for the last thirteen years.

- Jake

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

. . . And hey, I'm a thousand miles from my relatives for the last thirteen years.

- Jake

restraining order