Dear workers on the house next door: I am planning your murder

[amber]

What can drive Amber into a murderous rage? Hearing the loudest noise in the world 20 feet from her bed at 7:30 on Saturday morning. Yeah,

7:30!

it was worse because I had been up till 5, and didn't have to wake up until 8:30, if you see what I mean. And me having to get up at all is an anomoly. So, I rushed out to the roof in my jammies (my porch is adjacent to the studio-below-me's roof, which ends next to the house being worked on, which is about 20 feet away, I just have to hop over my porch rail) and yelled "don't you think it's a bit early for this noise?! It's seven f*cking thirty on Saturday morning!!" and I waved my hands to indicate the many people living nearby who also might be irritated. Then I noticed that he probably didn't speak english, but I think he got the gist, as the loudest noise in the world turned into the most annoying medium volume tapping in the world.
I was still pissed, he's lucky I had to get up and leave. On a usual saturday, that tapping wouldn't have cut it.
I'm going to by a hose today, with a good sprayer, and if I hear that **** tomorrow morning, or any weekend morning, I'm going to spray him.
You know what he was doing? He was chipping the outside of the house off! With some kind of sharp hammer thing!

Then, on my way walking back from BART after dropping my paper, I'm toodling along the sidewalk listening to my rendition of WH on my ishuffle, wearing my Stevie shirt, happy as a clam. I had just performed amazing feats of jumpage and sprintage to make my BART, both ways! On the way there, I had to sprint and swerve by some girls on my left, then quickly avoid an old lady on the right of the escalator, then jump the final four escastairs, then leap ballet style (think If Anyone Falls video) into BART. Then, on the way back, I sprinted down the length of the station, avoided people by jumping onto a bench (so.awesome.) and continued sprinting while missing this one lady by an inch, to leap into the BART car!
So I was stoked, that is a fun morning for me, almost as good as rock hopping. I mean, it should've been in a movie. Tell truth, it didn't have to be that spectacular, but I like to go the extra mile and add the amazing jumps and swerves for my viewers. Hey, if you've got it...

Anyway, this car starts to pull out of a driveway onto the sidewalk. There was a bush right there, so it's a bit blind for the driver. I stop to wait for him to pull out and go, there are no cars coming. He stops his car and opens his door. I push the button on my ishuffle to pause it just in time to hear him say testily "take off your ipod. Okay, I'll pull forward, so you can walk around." WTF?! So I'm like "you can just pull out, it will be just as fast, I don't mind waiting."
So.Lame. As he was pulling out, of course I semi yelled "and don't tell me take of my ipod, a**hole!"

Okay, that was fun. I don't have a boyfriend, so there's no one to listen to my bitching, is why I wrote it here....

Edit - workers on house still loud, but now they've added hispanic music. Hurray! Thank god I have this beer. I think I'll blast Wild Heart at them. After all, they are 10 feet from my window.

Edit - my bedroom heater hasn't worked for months and months, and suddenly it came on. Only I just moved my bedroom to my frontroom and vice versa, so it's really now my "office" heater. Weird.

[amber]

Originally Posted by trackaghost

That sucks. 7.30 in the morning would be bad on a normal day but on a Saturday??!!! Have they stopped yet?
I'm glad the rest of your morning was cool though

No, they're still there. The noises aren't as obnoxious. Which makes me wonder: Why did they have to do the loudest thing earliest in the morning?
Yay, someone read my story!

Whoa, look at your weird/cool sig! What's the deal?

[amber]

Originally Posted by trackaghost

Noise first thing in the morning is the worst though. I'm not a morning person at all though so everything irritates me then, especially anything loud.
I hope they stop soon! It does sound like they don't care.

My sig is from a BBC comedy programme called The Mighty Boosh. (I didn't make them, I stole them sshhhh )
It's weird, it's surreal and we can't stop talking about it at work, so it must be good. Here's the official website for it:

http://www.themightyboosh.com/

It is really weird, but funny, thanks for the link. Oh, they've totally stopped. Which makes me even more pissed, as there is five hours left of daylight, and couldn't they just have started four hours later?
Okay, I'm going to look at the site. I wish we got British shows. I mean in real time, not as pbs reruns.
Edit - I couldn't see anything, just a white screen with black border. And naturally, i don't know what to adjust in my computer to have it shown. (cookies? java? remove pop up blocker? WHAT?)

[bikerchic]

I feel your pain Amber. My neighbour has a peacock (the bird I mean) and that thing goes off every morning from about 4:00 a.m. til 7:00 a.m. This time of year up here in Canada (spring), we're coming out of our long winter hibernation and we like to have our windows open for the first time in about 6 months (I really enjoy this time of year sleeping with the fresh spring air coming in, because in about a month its going to be so f**king hot that the air conditioning will be on and bye, bye open windows! so you can see why this pisses me off so much. I don't know if you know what a peacock sounds like but it sounds like some bitch having the big O. My husband and I having this standing joke that it's our neighbour on the "other" side of us, 80 year old Mrs. Arnott and we'll say, jesus christ give it a rest Mrs. A

[amber]

Originally Posted by bikerchic

I feel your pain Amber. My neighbour has a peacock (the bird I mean) and that thing goes off every morning from about 4:00 a.m. til 7:00 a.m. This time of year up here in Canada (spring), we're coming out of our long winter hibernation and we like to have our windows open for the first time in about 6 months (I really enjoy this time of year sleeping with the fresh spring air coming in, because in about a month its going to be so f**king hot that the air conditioning will be on and bye, bye open windows! so you can see why this pisses me off so much. I don't know if you know what a peacock sounds like but it sounds like some bitch having the big O. My husband and I having this standing joke that it's our neighbour on the "other" side of us, 80 year old Mrs. Arnott and we'll say, jesus christ give it a rest Mrs. A

A peacock? Oh, my. I've never heard one, but now I know. Yeah, four am is even worse! Don't they keep that thing in a barn at night??? Or in the house?? I would be ready to kick some ass.
Also, I am jealous that you live in Canada but have to turn on the AC in the summer. I bet absolutely no one round here even has an AC.
Have you thought of getting a spray hose??? It doesn't hurt anyone, but it may make them stop making ungodly noises....
I can't believe you make jokes about an 80 year old having orgasms. But actually, that does kind of remind me of you.

[bikerchic]

Originally Posted by amber

I can't believe you make jokes about an 80 year old having orgasms. But actually, that does kind of remind me of you.

Yeah, my husband and I are pretty sick But ha, when I'm 80, I hope I'm still havin them!

Sidenote: that f**king peacock was actually hit by a car a couple of years ago and the damn thing walked away from it!

[irishgrl]

Roosters are just as bad...and where I used to live, the dang thing crowed at 3am!! the sun wasnt even THINKIN of coming up and that damn bird had to CROW!

Peacocks are loud. OY.

I can only think of one thing worse than hammering at 7:30, and thats a high powered saw...boy oh boy thats bad!

[seeker007nmss]

Can I B*tch now too? I just called into work because I am mega sick and don't want to spread it to everyone else, (just got back from the doc's with meds,) and got the the condensending "okay if you are really sick tone" from work when I said I couldn't come in. I called 9 hours early so they can replace me, and i get "the attitude". I uber rarely call in, and then only if I am really sick. Okay enough of my babbling and back to morning noises.....

[paleshadow]

Originally Posted by seeker007nmss

Can I B*tch now too? I just called into work because I am mega sick and don't want to spread it to everyone else, (just got back from the doc's with meds,) and got the the condensending "okay if you are really sick tone" from work when I said I couldn't come in. I called 9 hours early so they can replace me, and i get "the attitude". I uber rarely call in, and then only if I am really sick. Okay enough of my babbling and back to morning noises.....

Don't you hate that!!! We usually get "If you're sick you're sick" but it always seems to come with a twinge of the "Yeah right you faker!" tone to it.

[skcin]

1 - Amby - is there a noise ordinance in your town? I'd call the cops. Seriously, I would. It's usually 8:30 or 9 am until 10 or 11 pm.

2 - Peacocks? Loud & weird sounding, scares the **** out of you. We stayed at a B&B in Utah during our cross country trip in 2000 & there were 2 peacocks there. Good God.

Theresa - maybe we won't be coming to visit.

3 - Jim - that sucks. I hate how people are always saying "if you're sick you're no good to us" or "stay home if you're sick, so you don't give it to anyone else." But when you DO call off, they're all "well, are you sure you can't make it?" or act all nasty. Jerkasses.

[amber]

Jim, that's so lame, especially if you hardly ever call in sick.
I hope you feel better soon, sweetie. And of course you can bitch in my thread! Silly.

Paula - I looked for Oakland's noise ordinance online first thing, and no applicable ordinance came up. There was one, but it was for big building projects. I was thinking the police office would know the noise ordinance, but I haven't called yet.

[carrie721]

Originally Posted by seeker007nmss

Can I B*tch now too? I just called into work because I am mega sick and don't want to spread it to everyone else, (just got back from the doc's with meds,) and got the the condensending "okay if you are really sick tone" from work when I said I couldn't come in. I called 9 hours early so they can replace me, and i get "the attitude". I uber rarely call in, and then only if I am really sick. Okay enough of my babbling and back to morning noises.....

i really hate that ****. my boss pulled that with me a couple weeks ago; i came into work and felt (and apparently looked) like ****, so i got sent home, and the next day my boss yelled at me because i screwed people over and i'm selfish or whatever ... nevermind that i've never called off and i've been working there for a year. ALSO nevermind the fact that back in november, i was walking to work and GOT HIT BY A CAR on my way there and STILL WENT TO WORK that night!!!!! and didn't miss work at all after that, when i really should have been lying in bed for, like, 4 weeks straight. grr. anyway, i hope you feel better.

amber - sorry those bastards woke you up this a.m., but that was a pretty fabulous story.

[amber]

Originally Posted by carrie721

ALSO nevermind the fact that back in november, i was walking to work and GOT HIT BY A CAR on my way there and STILL WENT TO WORK that night!!!!! and didn't miss work at all after that, when i really should have been lying in bed for, like, 4 weeks straight.

That is bad. Sorry you got hit by a car.

[carrie721]

Originally Posted by amber

That is bad. Sorry you got hit by a car.

seriously, dawg. i don't recommend it. it was bizarre - it turned out it was a girl i went to school with, and after she got out of her car (and off of her phone), she said "sorry, carly!!" wtf. if you're going to hit me with a car ... you could get my name right!

[sparky]

Originally Posted by amber

That is bad. Sorry you got hit by a car.

That stand alone quote made my night.