Your families

[amber]

What is the make up of your family? What you consider your immediate family? What people constitute the family you spent the most time with? Feel free to post pics.

I was just tripping out again on someone's fam. Or everyone's. I'm always amazed at how big everyone's fam is. In my fam, for 15 years, it was just me as the kid, and then some adults (on my mom's side, which is the only one we ever visited on holidays). It was me, my nonna (grandma), her sister my great aunt, my uncle and possibly his girlfriend, my aunt, and that was basically it until I was 15 and my mom's 2 siblings finally had some kids. And, I won't even ever have nieces and nephews since I am an only child. Just cousins. Who are all 15 years younger than me.
Other people have these voluminous families that they can't even keep track of.
Cousins, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, blah blah forever. So many family members I can't even imagine. I've known people who have "discovered" they have family members they didn't know about before. Sure, that is Oakland, and lots of people are related, but it trips me out. I never had so many relatives!

I practically was my family for 15 years. At least I was the reason they gathered together. It was so small, and so lovely, all the holidays. Random adults, plus me, the focal point, the one that the family members actually liked (because everyone likes a kid). I've just come to learn that most families are bigger, expotentially. I wonder how that works.
My dad's fam was more expotential, but I didn't ever really get to know them.

It is hard for me to fathom families where you don't know some of them, and you only meet them once a year when you all get together for the reunion.

I always thought family was so insular and easy to comprehend, because mine was. It was me, and a handful of adults gathered to make holiday things special for me, while they visit with each other, even though lots of them didn't actually like each other. But they all thought food and holidays were important, and they still wanted to see the family members they had grudges against. Or, if they didn't, they would do it anyway, for me. And it would be fun and cool. Like, real holiday style. There would be a big production, with the meal and the visit. My grandma was serious about the meals for the holidays, like any good Italian grandma would be. It was all epic. Epic and delicious and ceremonial.
And why shouldn't it be, if only 8 or so people are in attendance.

Which is my point - tell me about your families, and their size, and their traditions, etc.
These are the favorite memories of my family, where we got together to eat for holidays. It was truly magical. We put out all the stops. Plus, we were all supposed to be Catholic, and we were all Italian, so any Jesus occasion was our forte. Food and God, I tells you what. lol.

But my truth isn't the truth of everyone. Everyone else has bigger families and different traditions.


But how is it for the bigger fams? When it isn't self contained? When there are cousins for miles?
It boggles my tiny mind.
In the way that I want everyone to share their stories and possibly post pics.

I'm just saying this all because I think that if I feel so strongly about my weird family holiday things, others will have just as great holiday traditions and possibly recipes to share.
Holiday traditions are the unsung gold of human experience. For reals.

Like, I can't fricking wait to hear the weird dishes my non Italian cousins from the south bring to light. (yeah, I'm talking about you, Jaz & Michelle).

And just in general what constitutes "family" to others.

Food and holidays and its rituals are important, don't make me come over there!!!
Peace and snacks out -
I could edit, but Night Moves just came on the radio. Can't miss that singing opp.

[jannieC]

I am in a similar situation. Growing up, it was always just my parents, brother, sister, and me. Both of my parents were only children, so I have never had any aunts, uncles, or cousins. All of my grandparents were dead by the time I was nine. My father died when I was 17.

As a teenager, I dated a boy for about five years. He was Polish and had a HUGE family. Holiday gatherings were so foreign to me. While I sort of enjoyed them, they overwhelmed me. SO many people; kids running around, people laughing and yelling- I always needed a nap when it was over.

I've been with my husband for 12 years, and his family has kind of become mine now. Christmas is a big deal in this family- lots of food and lots of presents (which at first was weird for me, but I've grown used to it over time).

I don't have much more to share and since you wanted to hear from folks with big families, I'll let others chime in now.

[markolas]

I don't speak to any of my relatives, currently; mostly because my mother is a very toxic person and I finally realized that a functional relationship with her was just not possible. Anyway.

My mother has a large extended family, though they're all starting to die off now; her mother is one of 6 children (only 3 are still living) and we usually saw them at Xmas and a few other times during the year, but otherwise were not especially close. My mother has one sister who is (what's the PC term?) mentally challenged. And my dad has one brother who didn't have kids until he was in his 40s, so growing up, I didn't have any first cousins, or really any relatives besides my younger brother who were close to my age.

My dad's parents (who are well into their 80s now) are the only relatives I can say I really like. My mom's parents (her dad passed away several years ago) were both big-time alcoholics, and as a result of that, I wound up not having too much respect for my grandmother or my mother for leaving us kids in her care.

Older brother is an ultra-conservative Southern Baptist minister, which as you can imagine interacts wonderfully with my homosexuality. The last few times I've seen him, you could've cut the tension with a knife. Finally, I just decided I didn't need the stress anymore. Younger brother is just a weed-head and a layabout.

Last year when my mother called and left a nasty message on my work voicemail, I officially disowned her. But that had been about 15 years in the making. I'm happy that others have functional relationships with their families, but mine has been nothing short of toxic.

[sara1998]

I am an only child also. My mothers side of the family always lived in the south, so holidays were spent with my dad's side, meaning, my grandparents, an aunt, uncle and collectively 4 cousins. Then my moms family moved up here when I was 18. I don't really get along with them too much except for my grandfather and his second wife. Anyhow, my dads parents passed and I don't talk to my aunt and uncle on that side, and my moms parents passed, and I really don't talk to anyone on that side except my moms little brother, and my step grandmother. So, now, my family ultimately consists of my girls, my parents, and an uncle and step grandmother. That's all I'll claim anyway.

[danax6]

Let's see. I've stopped talking to my mother -and her family- a long time ago. In fact, I don't even consider her, or them, my family. I hardly even know them. She had two kids after us, so I do have two little brothers, who I adore immensely. They're the only reason I ever drive up there.

Then there's my non-biological mom, who I've always considered my real mom. She passed away two years ago. She had a daughter, we all grew up together, I consider her my little sister.

I am very close to my real sister. She and I even share an apartment. Very close to my dad also.

My dad comes from a big family. I only see my grandmother now and then, for bingo nights. I'd have to say that 80% of his family I've never even met. I have 9 aunts and uncles from his side, and at least 50 cousins, if not more, but I know maybe 2 or 3. I used to be very close to one of my aunts, she lived down the street, but she moved to Belgium a few years ago, and since then we've barely had contact.

I recently joined a Dutch website, equivalent to MySpace, and I keep getting all these messages from people over the country saying 'hey, we're family! how are you?' I never respond.

In short: I only really consider my two sisters, my two brothers and my dad family. My dad's best friend, who he's known for 45 years, and two of his other friends are all people that stepped in when my mother left and helped my dad out when we were little. I consider them family also.

Family isn't just people that are related to you by blood. No way.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by danax6

Family isn't just people that are related to you by blood. No way.

I agree with this. All of my "aunts" and "uncles" were close friends of my parent's.

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by danax6

Family isn't just people that are related to you by blood. No way.

My oldest daughter isn't my daughter, but my biological daughters half sister. I consider my oldest my own.

[suzyvermoesen]

My family is really small. I'm an only child and have 1 cousin who is 9 years older than me and who i never ever see.
Both my parents are still alive and i see them every couple of weeks. They were never particularly close to the rest of the (small) family, except my mom who adored her father (he passed away in 1984). All my grandparents have died and apart from my mother and father, and my cousin, i have one aunt left who is my fathers' sister , but whom i also never see.
My husband comes from a large family of 5 kids, but some of them are not on speaking terms. I had always wanted an older brother or sister to hang out with, but when i see how my in-laws get along sometimes i guess i'm better off with a few really good friends
some pics:
my dad


my mom


my best friend and me before going to a costume party:


with my lifelong friends whom i've known for 40 years (omg!)

[sara1998]

Just an excuse to show off my girls... I love them so!

[sasja]

Sara your girls are wonderful

For me:
Huge fam that I rarely see anymore since moving to US, maybe once a year or so my aunts and uncles, rarely cousins anymore. Here a pic from when we were in Holland this August/sept, my parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary bash, this is all my fam.:



Avi's fam is tiny since not much survived the Holocaust (Russian and German jews)
He has 2 cousins maybe, and one aunt and uncle.
a sister he is close to and a brother, not so much.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by sasja

Sara your girls are wonderful

For me:
Huge fam that I rarely see anymore since moving to US, maybe once a year or so my aunts and uncles, rarely cousins anymore. Here a pic from when we were in Holland this August/sept, my parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary bash, this is all my fam.:



Avi's fam is tiny since not much survived the Holocaust (Russian and German jews)
He has 2 cousins maybe, and one aunt and uncle.
a sister he is close to and a brother, not so much.

Holee Sh*t- I need a nap after just looking at that! Wow, what it is like to have that much family? Are the periodic gatherings fun?

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by sasja

Sara your girls are wonderful

For me:
Huge fam that I rarely see anymore since moving to US, maybe once a year or so my aunts and uncles, rarely cousins anymore. Here a pic from when we were in Holland this August/sept, my parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary bash, this is all my fam.:



Avi's fam is tiny since not much survived the Holocaust (Russian and German jews)
He has 2 cousins maybe, and one aunt and uncle.
a sister he is close to and a brother, not so much.

Thank you!

You are blessed. My family is so small; if I had a family that size, everyone would need to wear a name tag.... hello, my name is ______.

[suzyvermoesen]

Originally Posted by sara1998

Just an excuse to show off my girls... I love them so!

Your daughters are gorgeous !

[suzyvermoesen]

Originally Posted by sasja

Sara your girls are wonderful

For me:
Huge fam that I rarely see anymore since moving to US, maybe once a year or so my aunts and uncles, rarely cousins anymore. Here a pic from when we were in Holland this August/sept, my parents had a big 50th wedding anniversary bash, this is all my fam.:



Avi's fam is tiny since not much survived the Holocaust (Russian and German jews)
He has 2 cousins maybe, and one aunt and uncle.
a sister he is close to and a brother, not so much.

Nou moe ! I started counting them but lost count twice

[estranged4life]

My family, On both of my parents sides, is quite large. My Dad's family consisted of 6 boys and 4 girls (All of my aunts are living and excluding my Dad and an Uncle all the males are living - I wished I had a working scanner to add their family for y'all to see - Typical Irish/Cherokee family) whereas Mom's family was small 2 girls and 1 boy. I have so many frikkin' cousins I have lost count (About 40-45) some even whom I do not know...

I have 2 older brothers (One full blood and one half-brother) and 4 older half-sisters (Two by Dad, Of one who had passed away back in 1989 and 2 by Mom) so I am the youngest. I have 2 nieces and 5 nephews and coming someday soon I will have a daughter (Via my lady Christy) who is a very intelligent 10 year old.

Lost both my Grand-fathers in 1977 (Along with my Dad), My Grandmothers in 1994 & 1998 and my Mom in March 2005 (As most of y'all know from the thread I started)