Being Poor

[reebokandlace]

I know this is a happy festive time a year for so many people....but I came across this website yesterday that just broke my heart....so I thought I would share it with everyone and maybe those of us who are more fortunate will remember to help out (in some way) those who have nothing....please remember them this time of year......

Here is the site....I could only post a small portion of the page (it is a very long website page): http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/003704.html

Being Poor

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.
Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.
Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.
Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.
Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.
Being poor is simply wishing for food, more then gifts at Christmas...
Being Poor means asking your mom for food for Christmas and crying with joy when she gives you a milk crate stuffed with name-brand dry goods.
Being poor is sharing a chocolate bar between your three sisters and brother for christmas
Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.
Being poor is Goodwill underwear.
Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.
Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.
Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.
Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.
Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.
Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.
Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.
Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.
Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.
Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.
Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids.
Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.
Being poor is not talking to that girl because she'll probably just laugh at your clothes.
Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.
Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.
Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.
Being poor is scraping enough money to go home to your family for Christmas and not having any gifts for them.
Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.
Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.
Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.
Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid.
Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.
Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.
Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.
Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.
Being poor is when your Christmas savings is $9.39
Being poor is knowing you're being judged.
Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.
Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.
Being poor is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.
Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.
Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.
Being poor is a cough that doesn't go away.
Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.
Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.
Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.
Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.
Being poor is seeing how few options you have.
Being poor is running in place.
Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave before the storm.
Being poor is your kids getting excited on Dumpster-hunt day, because that's the only time they get to eat "real food" like cookies, fresh fruit and desserts.
Being poor is loathing Christmas, because you know the next day everyone is going to ask what you get.
Being poor is checking out lots of movies and books from the library on Christmas eve so you can have something to do on Christmas because you know your family can't afford presents this year.
Being poor is staying with a man who beats your kids because you can't afford to keep them out of foster care without his salary.
Being poor is scrambling under the car seats to make up enough change to get two happy meals to split between a family of 4 - and everyone is ecstatic when you do so.
Being poor is finally realizing that when your Mom says you can be anything you want, she doesn't really believe it, but feels she has to keep saying it anyway to keep the whole family from falling into despair-based lifestyles.
Being poor is homemade Christmas gifts...on the good years.
Being poor is learning to live with condemned-quality housing because coming up with the first and last month's rent, plus utility deposits, you'd need to move is a pipe dream.
Being poor is taking a cash advance from the credit card--to pay the credit card minimum bill.
Being poor is trying to decide which one of you gets to eat today - the one of you that is pregnant or the one of you that can work.
Being poor is fighting with someone you love because they misplaced a $15 dollar check.
Being poor is like being an alcoholic (but about money). You're always aware where your last dollar came from, where your next dollar is coming from and exactly how many dollars you (don't) have.
Being poor is a motivator to never be as poor as your parents.
Being poor makes you appreciate everything you’ve earned.
Being poor gives you the ability to look at supporting your still poor mother as an honor not a burden.
Being poor means swallowing your pride and walking into the food stamp office because you don't want your kids to go hungry, then sitting there smiling, while some social worker (gleefully) humiliates you as she goes over your application.
Being poor is a month with 28 spaghetti dinners, 2 invitations over to eat, and a day without.
Being poor is wondering what sort of fool drops a penny on the ground and doesn't pick it up.
Being poor is feeling ashamed when your 'peers' slam WalMart, and talk about buying organic, and the horrors of driving gass-guzzling cars, all while wondering why you repeatedly find ways to not join them at $15/plate social dinners.
Being poor means two or three jobs, and never enough time, sleep, or money. never.
Being poor is being bumped by somebody carrying a Prada tote bag on your way to pick up your paycheck... and instantly realizing, without having to calculate, that in terms of actual cash value, the tote bag is worth far more than the paycheck.
Being poor is having friends who's parents won't let them sleep over because you live in that part of town.
Being poor is knowing 'Hot Water + free fast food Ketchup packs = Tomato Soup'.
Being poor sucks.

[reebokandlace]

Originally Posted by Lux

I may be wrong because I could only tolerate a bit of that and therefore haven't read the whole thing, but while the writer's (and poster's) intentions may have been good, that was just so patronising to read. I guess that wasn't the response you were after but I had to say it, sorry.

Thank you for contributing your typical negative-toned response to threads.

[Mari]

MEEOOOWWWW!!!!

what did you have for breakfest?!

[jannieC]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lux
I may be wrong because I could only tolerate a bit of that and therefore haven't read the whole thing, but while the writer's (and poster's) intentions may have been good, that was just so patronising to read. I guess that wasn't the response you were after but I had to say it, sorry.

Originally Posted by reebokandlace

Thank you for contributing your typical negative-toned response to threads.

I kind of felt the same way reading it. Maybe it's because too much of it was ringing massive bells for me, not so much for the present, but the not too distant past with me. The intentions, I'm sure, were good. Better directed at people who have never been through it- then it wouldn't seem
patronizing at all.

[snowman]

Originally Posted by jannieC

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lux
I may be wrong because I could only tolerate a bit of that and therefore haven't read the whole thing, but while the writer's (and poster's) intentions may have been good, that was just so patronising to read. I guess that wasn't the response you were after but I had to say it, sorry.






I kind of felt the same way reading it. Maybe it's because too much of it was ringing massive bells for me, not so much for the present, but the not too distant past with me. The intentions, I'm sure, were good. Better directed at people who have never been through it- then it wouldn't seem
patronizing at all.

I also have to admit that a few of the "being poor" criteria either have applied, or still do to some certain extent in my family's life. I don't consider myself poor, but this country/world is definitely becoming one of either "haves" or the "have nots". No in between...

[jannieC]

Being poor is staying with a man who beats your kids because you can't afford to keep them out of foster care without his salary.

Maybe it's lines like this? That's not being poor, that's ridiculous.

[UnwindedDreams]

i don't like talking about this subject, not meaning your thread, I mean poor in general. it really makes me sad and it gets me pissed off sometimes for reasons I can't say but if anyone would like to know pm me.

[reebokandlace]

The intentions were good. I just wanted people who are more fortunate to remember those who are less fortunate this time of year. It is a VERY difficult time of year for so many families.

I just hoped maybe ONE person on this board would be moved by my post and would seek out and help ONE child.

LUX:
the patronising aspect is the "us" and "them" tone

F*ck you if you think it is not an "us" and "them" reality. It is. Those of us who have been there know that. If you didn't know that, then take some time to think about it. The comments were written by people who have either experienced being poor or are currently poor.

LUX:
"that was just so patronising to read"

PFFT! Try living through it!!

Mari
MEEOOOWWWW!!!!

what did you have for breakfest?!

Lux and Mari go out of their way to post negative things to peoples posts on this board as well as other boards. Nasty people. At least they have each other. This is the last time I will comment on either of your posts. You can instigate others to follow you...I don't care...I know there are enough people out there who are sick and tired of you and you nastiness. Go f*ck yourselves! (I'm sorry everyone but I have had it with assh*les like these people!)


.

Originally Posted by reebokandlace

The intentions were good. Most of those comments are reflective of my life and my past. I will never forget where I came from and what I have survived. It was a very deep hole to crawl out of. I just wanted people who are more fortunate to remember those who are less fortunate this time of year. It is a VERY difficult time of year for so many families.

There are 365 days in a year, and what one day of the year stands out the most when I look back on childhood and remember?? Those Christmases with so little or nothing at all. I just hoped maybe ONE person on this board would be moved by my post and would seek out and help ONE child.






.

I for one Agree with this post..although it is a hard thing to swallow for those of us dealing with some of those things on the list.it is a reality for many many people .,and often times instead of facing the reality of our lives we lash out and blame others for our circumstances.Either way I thank you for posting that list,because having been down that road before it did help me to realize how far I have come in life and how blessed I am ,no matter what I may have or not have.I found it to be a gentle reminder that there is people who are always worse off than me and that I can do something to reach out...Thank You.

[LikeAWillow]

Originally Posted by reebokandlace

PFFT! Try living through it!!

Try thinking before you post about someone you don't know. Thanks.

[Serrart]

Originally Posted by reebokandlace

The intentions were good. Most of those comments are reflective of my life and my past. I will never forget where I came from and what I have survived. It was a very deep hole to crawl out of. I just wanted people who are more fortunate to remember those who are less fortunate this time of year. It is a VERY difficult time of year for so many families.

There are 365 days in a year, and what one day of the year stands out the most when I look back on childhood and remember?? Those Christmases with so little or nothing at all. I just hoped maybe ONE person on this board would be moved by my post and would seek out and help ONE child.



F*ck you if you think it is not an "us" and "them" reality. It is. Those of us who have been there know that. If you didn't know that, then take some time to think about it. The comments were written by people who have either experienced being poor or are currently poor.



PFFT! Try living through it!!



Lux and Mari go out of their way to post negative things to peoples posts on this board as well as other boards. Nasty people. At least they have each other. This is the last time I will comment on either of your posts. You can instigate others to follow you...I don't care...I know there are enough people out there who are sick and tired of you and you nastiness. Go f*ck yourselves! (I'm sorry everyone but I have had it with assh*les like these people!).

Reebokandlace, I don't think Lux and Mari were negative, but just read that list in a different way as I did too. It's not the fact that it speaks the truth, but the way in which it does it that leaves me perplexed but I totally agree, there were honest and generous intentions behind the site. The fact is that to use terms like "us" and "them", creates quite simplistic categories in which not everyone feels to be placed easily. The grey zone between them sometimes is the most enlightening, and the most receptive, if you find the way to reach the people in it. I also hope that site would make a lot of people being more generous, though.

Romy

[Janet]

Not cool going after Lux because there was the reaction YOU wanted.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion on this matter.

Just no more personal attacks. If someone states an opinion you don't like RAL then just ignore them.

PERSONALLY---

I have been poor and I don't know if I would have written something like that out. I mean I guess who can say what means being poor. Can I agree with alot of that stuff? Yes, but some of it we can all agree with.

But being poor ( like alot of us who are paycheck to paycheck ) and being POOR ( homeless with NOTHING) are two different things.

Being poor sucks. Being POOR is a tragedy.

[Mari]

Originally Posted by Janet

But being poor ( like alot of us who are paycheck to paycheck ) and being POOR ( homeless with NOTHING) are two different things.

Being poor sucks. Being POOR is a tragedy.

that's very true.

RAL... what can I say? ha... First of all, you read my response wrong. I thought your answer to lux was unneccessary catty, and that's what I reacted on.
Now, whatever you think about me.. I couldn't care less. I think it's funny, if anything.

Seems to me you can't deal well with any answer you weren't hoping for. You're on the wrong messageboard then.