Zingiest Insults

[David]

What are your favorite insults?

Mine is: "Are you insane or did you just eat a bucket of bad steamers?"

[DavidMn]

Anything Don Rickles said!

[Red]

"I'm rubber, you're glue, what bounces off of me, sticks to you."

Kidding.

Actually, my sweetest comebacks would've been a retort from a nosy guy who wouldn't stop pressing me on why I hadn't found myself a nice man yet. And he wasn't asking in a gentle way, but in a "so-what's-wrong-with-you" sort of way. He was being a total turd, so I said to him in a really sarcastic tone, "Oh come on now, you've got to give a girl some time to find a reeeeeaaaal catch like you, Tiger". That sure shut him the f*ck up.

[Sugar]

I remember a friend was one commenting/complaining about me being nasty or bitchy or something, to which I retorted glibly, "It's part of my charm."

My future husband then quickly followed with, "It's the bulk of your charm."

[catinthedark]

you know, the zingiest ones i've heard are the ones in the family of:

"you must have mistaken me for someone who cares"

"does this look like the face of someone who cares?"

or

"nope - keep trying. you haven't found someone yet who actually cares"

[JazmenFlowers]

not exactly zingy or an insult, but I love it and use it at least twice a week

"you say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing"

[amber]

Originally Posted by catinthedark

you know, the zingiest ones i've heard are the ones in the family of:

"you must have mistaken me for someone who cares"

"does this look like the face of someone who cares?"

or

"nope - keep trying. you haven't found someone yet who actually cares"

What about "yeah, I know, I read that in Who Cares magazine"

- David Spade to fake Vin Deisel on Saturday Night Live.

[catinthedark]

Originally Posted by amber

What about "yeah, I know, I read that in Who Cares magazine"

- David Spade to fake Vin Deisel on Saturday Night Live.

see?? endless fun to be had.

[amber]

Originally Posted by catinthedark

see?? endless fun to be had.

I agree. Simple, but funny.

I can't really think of any others. They kind of arise out of the moment.

[DownOnRodeo]

Even better than the sarcastic variety are the ones that tell the truth.

Just smile kindly and sincerely remark, "Oh, that's ... stupid."

[irishgrl]

I think the English have the best ones, and all without using a single curse word

My early favorites were from the PG Wodehouse "Jeeves" books
Blot on the landscape
Pimple on the arse of humanity

One came from the "HOOK" movie (Dustin Hoffman as Hook)
You sorry sacks of entrails (there was more, I cant remember it all)

[GODDESS6]

was it the 70's or 80's, when everyones answer was "your mama"?~

[Mari]

read one in a pop mag yesterday that was really bad
Went something like.. "the problem with you, Morrissey, is that you never had the guts to kill yourself"

ouch. (I'll try to post the quote tonight)

[JazmenFlowers]

don't let your mouth write a check yo ass can't cover

[Lala]

"I know you are, but what am I?"



J/K...I can't think of any good real ones though. It's all spur of the moment.